DivinelyWritten

Hyperbole? Pt. I

2011-11-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Nothing strikes more fear and anxiety in my Midwest-homegrown-lives in 'Lucy Casual Wear'- heart than the prospect of moving to LA. (Note to self: stop watching 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' and 'Keeping Up with Kardashians' NOW.) My husband currently works there, and well, commuting to and fro hasn't exactly been the cat's meow. But he was offered a very nice position with a great benefits package that was hard to turn down, especially in this economy. So, it was decided that after our eldest daughter graduates high school, we'd all move down there together.

I. Am. Terrified (Second note to self: stop watching 'Kendra' and 'Million Dollar Decorators' YESTERDAY!).

At first I thought it'd be a great move. I was excited even. Sunshine everyday. Celebrity sightings everyday. Pretending this is how real people live everyday. What on earth was there not to love about LA?!

I'm sort of a risk taker at heart; my husband, funny bloke that he is, usually responds to this by saying "Well, you married me!" What I am really is a free spirit-wherever-I-lay-my-hat-is-home kind of gal. I've traveled out out of the country several times, lived in various places throughout the U.S., and am usually not afraid to try anything once. Most anything that is. Of course, due to responsibilities and obligations, IE having kids, I've curtailed my roving like a wanderer days. But that need for travel, exploration, and discovery has never completely left me. Or maybe its just that I bore easily. I mean, my idea of retirement is finding a fixer upper somewhere in Tanzania maybe and growing coffee, ala Karen Blixen.

So why oh why am I all stressed about moving to LA (Freaking ream of paper to self: Stop watching 'Bravo' and 'E!' IMMEDIATELY!!!)?!

Could it be that I've gotten too comfortable? Have I become too cautious? Have I listened to Cat Stephens' "Wild World" once too often?

Yes, the traffic and road rage is BAD in LA, the smog's sure to give me cancer someday, and the "Celebrities without Makeup" sightings are simply horrific. Of course, everyone is there to break into 'the bizness' and has certainly had some kind of cosmetic surgery done. Obviously being competitive is practically a sport in LA, everyone drives a red shiny sports car and lives in million dollar mansions, and I'm sure all the parents dress themselves and their kids in head to toe Gucci.

But...

Los Angelinos are just people too, aren't they?

To Be Continued...

Fleeting Childhoods, or Why The Halloween/Christmas/All Holiday Decorations Stay Up Long After The Holiday Has Ended

2011-11-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

Like a thief in the night, Halloween 2011 has come and gone. Just like that. It never fails to amaze and shock me how, year after year, we prepare our costumes, buy our pumpkins, and dole out our candy, days-sometimes months in advance for one. single. day. Make that one single night. And if you live where I do, it tends to be a few hours, unless you like the endless sound of children screeching and carrying on because their costumes got wet and muddy in the rain. That tends to happen when it rains a lot. Thankfully, that was not the case this year.

Every year, after all the trick or treating is done, after the last ghoul or goblin has rung the doorbell, after we've sorted our 'gallons o'candy' into more manageable piles of Nerts and LaffyTaffy, we sit around, dazed looks on our mascara smeared faces, costumes half falling off and mutter something unbelievable like "Well, another Halloween come and gone."

Duh. We know it intellectually, yet deep inside keep holding on, unwilling somehow to embrace the fact that time waits for no one. And terrified to admit we're all getting older. With every passing Halloween, or every passing holiday for that matter, we're reminded of our distant childhoods, as well as, without warning, our children's fleeting ones. How rude.

At least this is how I rationalize why I tend to keep our Halloween decorations up for another week or so. The carved pumpkins perched atop the stoop still proudly light up the night. The gourds, (growing moldier by the day), dilapidated scarecrows and other 'spooktacular' creations right out of Tim Burton's mind- and all nearly past their prime- continue to marvel and dazzle the passersby. But only for a little while longer. For soon the spirit of the Holidays will be upon us, and bring with it another chance to mesmerize and entice with its dizzying array of decor offerings.

And if you think keeping the Halloween decorations up is bad, just wait til Christmas. Those tend to stay up til well into the New Year, cause nothing says fleeting childhood more than watching the kids tear open presents on Christmas morning. So, yes, I'm older and the kids are growing up before my very eyes. Two of many facts I will choose to ignore. For now.

On a more positive note, Christmas lights go very well with 4th of July decorations, I've found.

Why I Blog

2011-11-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

No doubt about it, the world is full of blogs. Practically everyone has one, and the ones that don't wish they did. Most people, if not all, are familiar with blogs and read them either consistently or just occasionally. Where else can one find tons of information, education, and entertainment but on a blog?! Blogs are here to stay. And the blogosphere is chock full.

So why am I on here? Yet another blogger in the 'dog-eat-dog-blogworld'? Good question.

I've been blogging since 2008, having done the majority in 2009. I've slipped considerably since then. When this blog was at it's best, IE, when I was posting weekly, reading other blogs, and fully engaged in bloggyland, I was having a blast. I loved writing up new content. I loved meeting the other bloggers. I loved the thrill of hitting the 'Publish' button, cause honestly, I knew I probably wasn't going to be published in the more conventional way. But that was OK. I was just a writer who wanted to write, and write I did. I did manage to publish a few pieces along the way, so, double points for me. Who'd a thunk?

So, after several months of being out to pasture, I've come back to my first love. I blog for the sake of writing. Aside from keeping a journal, there is no better way I know of to stay in the writing loop. It needn't be all perfect and polished (although some polished is good). It needn't be updated daily (unless you're participating in NaBloPoMo). I'm not concerned about comments, hits, or Klout score for my blog at this point (though I will be eventually). I'm just writing to honor the writer spirit that lives in me. And to exercise my writing muscles that have become all to complacent for much too long.

Second day of NaBloPomo and those muscles aren't at all achy and sore yet! Ask me mid-month and that may have changed. But for now, onward!

What I Love Most About Writing

2011-11-01T14:03:00.000-07:00

Ah, the writing life. The solitude, the neuroses, the general unkemptness of house and home when I'm writing. But those petty imperfections aside, it is, as the song goes, "the life for me." Why? What is it about writing that I love. I'm not entirely sure.

I do know throughout school my favorite subject was English. I was a real stickler for grammar too. I think I love the art of writing, because to me, it is rather like art. I love the challenge of putting thoughts to paper in a concise and hopefully elegant sort of way. Much like the artist playing with colors and shapes, I love playing with words and sentance syntax. Taking this word out, and putting another in its place. Rearranging entire paragraphs cohesively, or doing away with them altogether. There is something to be said about spending endless days and sleepless nights, entire weekends even, holed up in a room somewhere, closed off to the rest of humanity, trying to get the writing just right. Trying to cultivate and convey my own authentic voice. Trying to uncover what lies beneath. When I write, I communicate truths. Truths about myself mostly. And about life. Truths that for me, matter and give my life meaning.

Before I start waxing too poetic, the truth is however, I don't do it enough. There's the creative process in writing, then there's the business side to it. Writing takes time. Preparation. Forethought. Afterthought too. And it takes discipline, a very necessary trait one must adhere to in the pursuit of life's goals. And as busy as I am, as I'm sure most of us are, it often helps to have accountability. This is why I'm partaking in the NaBloPoMo this month.

I tried the NaNoWriMo a few years back. As Oprah so wisely says, "When you know better, you do better." I'm not doing it again this year. It was a good experience, but let's just say I learned a thing or two about my limitations.

NaBloPoMo is a more manageable way to achieve my goals in writing. I'm looking forward to daily posting and reading other's blogs.

If you're a fellow traveler, I'd love to hear from you!

This Ain't Your Usual 'Failed Resolutions' Post (I Promise)

2011-01-12T15:08:00.000-08:00

Now that we got that whole New-Year-Resolutions-Fresh-Beginnings- mumbojumbo bit out of the way, let's get honest. Most of us have failed at our resolutions by now, and I'm no exception. Yep. You read it right. Not even halfway into January and I'm calling it quits.

Ahhh....that feels good.

I'm only being half facetious. I'm sure lots of people are doing great at theirs. And I'm not really quitting anything. The other half, however, is spot on. Especially the 'feels good' part. Before you start flinging the tomatoes, let me explain a little. There is a method to my madness.

Like my other bazillion fellow Americans/World Citizens, I saw the New Year as a perfect time to start a-fresh. It made sense to hold off on starting that diet (whilst stuffing another cupcake into my mouth), start an exercise regime, or re- read "HP and The Deathly Hollows.'" Even if you don't celebrate it (and I have no idea who doesn't), New Year's Day is a world recognized holiday, implying well, the word new. New Year, New You, New Resolutions, New anything. And the energy of a a bazillion resolutions being made around the same time gave me the impetus, momentum and excitement to even consider making my own resolution, which I did. And for the first few days, it worked. I felt New. I sensed Newness in my purpose. I even got a new coat and other new clothing. But then, the 'newness' started to wear off, I was back at the daily grind, and things started going a little downhill. Here's the thing though: instead of getting all in a hizzy fit over it, I'm actually enjoying the ride. Wheee!! It's fun!!

It's perfectly understandable if you were to assume that I've lost my mind and have gone a bit whacko. I sometimes wonder the same thing. But...I haven't. Because I very cleverly included in my New Year's Resolution, to fully embrace the fact that it could fail, and that if and when it did, I'd still feel happy and New and shine up like a penny.

Because somewhere along the way, somewhere in my #$^& years of accumulated wisdom (either wisdom or early onset senility), I've learned to adapt. Its how I survive, indeed how our species has survived millenia after millenia of hardships that threaten to destroy. So what if I cheated on the diet. Who cares if I didn't hit the gym. It's been a few days since I published something? Meh. Tell me something new.

I'm still alive, and so are the people that I love. And in light of the recent tragedy in Arizona, that is reason enough to be happy and grateful and not take a single day for granted. And maybe, if I don't give up but choose to focus on what's true and right and civil, I- even I- can make a difference in this world somehow. Our nation needs so much healing right now. I feel we're under a terrible threat, and I figure, I can do my part by not guilting myself out over missed opportunities, but by sending healing energy to those that really need it, our leaders included.

Will I get back up and start anew tomorrow? Probably. Will I fall down a few more times before its all said and done? No doubt. But each step I take, I'm convinced, brings me closer. Closer to what? Well, that's the question only you can answer for yourself.

I've joined the Circle with Laura Day, and its changing the way I live. Read about it here and if you're so inclined, join us! The more the merrier!

As Time Goes By

2009-11-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

FaceBook saved my life. OK, it didn't actually save my life but it did inspire me to write up this post, and if that's not a life saver, well I don't know what is.

While checking my FaceBook page, I came across this article by the incredibly talented Ariel Gore. She writes the column 'Women and Happiness' over at Psychology Today online (you should check it out sometime, good stuff). In this article, Gore shares about the paper route she had when she was ten, and the exhilaration she felt in doing it. She describes it so poetically, one almost feels as if they were there! She goes on to point out how 'wildly important' it is to find and engage in meaningful, challenging and stimulating activities. And why some of the more mundane tasks leave you feeling drained. This is precisely why spending a half hour trying to match the single socks always feels like it took ten long abysmal years. Ditto for loading/unloading the dishwasher, taxes, and DMV lines. And waiting to get inside the theatres to see 'New Moon.' Man, those two hours felt like eleventy million (more on that for another post).

At the end of the piece, she poses the question: "Work or play, is there anything you do that makes you forget what time it is?" Why yes. Yes there is. Here's a few of mine:

Road trips with the family. Except for the time when we were driving to Disney Land and the car erupted in total pandemonium cause everyone kept asking 'are we there yet' and we kept saying 'yes' to shut them up and then they were all onto us and they'd say 'you said that an hour ago' and we briefly considered dumping them on the side of whatever interstate we were on...aside from that time, the hours seem to melt into nothing on those long rides. Some great tunes, a good book, munchies, a few Diet Cokes and life's good.

Cooking. My meals are usually done in about an hour, give or take, but I don't even notice the time, except for when the timer goes off. I think I like it so because all of my senses are stimulated, and some of the recipes can be a little challenging, but that only makes it better. Any excuse to eat is A-OK with me. Now, ask me after I've attempted a recipe from the 'Mastering the Art of French Cooking' cookbook, where any good French chef worth their weight will tell you it takes DAYS not one measly hour to properly prepare French cuisine, and my answer may change. But for now, time is forgotten.

Writing. When I'm on a roll, and the creative writing juices are flowing, I can easily spend hours in front of my computer. When involved in creative endeavors such as writing, singing, painting or similar activities, both halves of the brain are stimulated, which of course make the time fly. Ditto for reading a juicy book, "O: The Oprah Magazine" or working on a crossword puzzle. Not the NY Times one, though, which is sheer torture. I personally prefer the 'Highlights' version.

Twitter. Yep, that stupid bird has eaten away chunks of my precious time (are you on Twitter yet? Join me, it's fun!). It is a bit addictive, but I've 'met' some very cool people, read some very interesting tweets, and overall felt quite enriched, even if I did whittle away three hours, which naturally, only felt like fifteen minutes.

Holding my son on my lap. Maybe it's because he's still so little, or because he's my 'baby' or because he's my last one, but I could spend hours smelling, stroking, kissing that hair and squeezing that little body next to me, and wouldn't even know it. A total and complete time lapse with him. Now the time with my teens are a, ahem, tad different, the details of which I will spare you, dear reader, from because I care. A lot.

The ideal is to have a job or be involved in work that also feels like play. Regardless, I've enjoyed identifying some things that I would most certainly not consider soul-sucks (like the recurring 'find the missing sock' nightmare ). And when I'm ready for a much needed time warp from the daily grind, you know what I'll be doing.

You?

Random Thoughts

2009-11-17T12:13:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd join BloggingMama Andrea in Random Thoughts Tuesday today, cause if its one thing I can do, its think random thoughts. Why earlier today while in the shower, they were coming at such a rapid clip, I thought I was going to die! Well, not like, really die, but like my head was going to explode...which of course, would lead to my certain and untimely death...which verifies that I really did think I was going to die...which...
Enough of the morbid thoughts! Its random thoughts we're after, right? Right on!
And now ladies and germs, this (long pause here, so as to make it seem dramatic and suspenseful...........)
is Random Thoughts Tuesday.

Random Thought #1: New York left an indelible impression, for many reasons. While visiting this past summer, my daughter asked, in all seriousness, if English was spoken there. I've always wanted to live abroad, but have since realized, forget about that. We could just move to New York. Where else can I hear German, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Hindi, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Hebrew, and Swahili all on the same block! Just like living abroad, except ten times more expensive. Even one single French fry can cost as much as $10!! I also didn't spot Sarah Jessica Parker once. Major disappointment. But I'd go back to NY in a heartbeat.

Random Thought #2: I'm torn because I can't decide who (whom)to pledge my allegiance to: Team Jacob or Team Edward (if you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, come out come out from under your cave). It's worse. Even though the major targeted demographic of New Moon, et al, is the 'My Teen Daughters and Their Over 1700 FaceBook Friends Between Them' (yea, that's a new demographic, didn't ya know?) and even though I'm the spry age of $$^##^, or let's just say out of that demographic entirely, making this choice is something I have absolutely no qualms, regrets, or shame to speak of. Should I? I'm entitled. After all, I am driving them to the midnight premiere this Friday. And I did pay for those tickets. And finally, they do have their shirtless Taylor Lautner/Robert Pattinson posters in clear view whenever I go into their room and I certainly can't go in there blindfolded (can but won't). Anyway, I'll be the woman waiting in the car wearing the leopard print sleeping eye mask in yellow footie pajamas at midnight on Friday. Care to join me?

Random Thought #3: So I've been texting a lot lately and either my fingers are too fat or the keyboards too tiny or something but I keep making these funny words and sentences. For example, meant to type Brad, typed Bras..so it became 'is Bras coming with you?' to my horrified daughter's dismay. A few more: 'to leave' became 'to heave', 'r u home?' became 'r u hoe?' Fascinating, I know. There are so many others, I just might devote an entire post to this subject matter alone.

Random Thought #4: Its that time of year again. Really can't wait for them Eggnog lattes from Starbucks. I can almost feel myself getting fatter at the mere thought. That's fine really, just as long as my ankles don't swell to Orca killer whale size.
Having cankles this holiday season would suck.

And that concludes my random thoughts post.

Happy Tuesday!

Happy Birthday To Me

2009-10-22T10:27:00.001-07:00

Happy Anniversay to Divinely Written!

What a whacky, crazy, challenging, educational, but mostly fun year its been for this blog! Some posts have definitely been better than others. I think some should have been offered as some sort of sacrifice to appease the Blog Gods, or burned at the stake,

while some really deserved to be nominated for that Medal of Excellence award or something.

I know. I'm humble like that!

At any rate, its been a blast. I've had a wonderful time 'meeting' so many other great bloggers out there! If you've shared this journey with me in any way this past year by visiting, commenting, or just lurking, I'd just like to say Thank You for tagging along.

Now, who's ready for cake?!

Vacation Time

2009-08-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Still on vacation. Recovering in 'WiscAnsin' now, after six busy days in New York City. Even though the pace was frenetic there, I loved EVERY minute of it. I've never walked so much in one days time in my life. The kids want to go back soon, so apparently they didn't mind the walking too much either.

I'm sure many posts will follow, based on my keen acute observations (be afraid, be very afraid).

I hope your days are going swimmingly.

Harry Potter Grows Up

2009-07-29T14:37:00.001-07:00

From one extreme to another, this parenting thing never ends! Potty training one week, reading stuff like this the next. Oh, the joys of being a parent to teens, tweens and toddlers! While Tweeting away this week, I stumbled upon, then tweeted this article. Immediately, I felt a post coming on.

Go read it first. I'll wait right here.

(hohumhohumhohum...)

So, what'd you think?

'Are you kidding me??' was my first reaction. I'd never thought of Harry or Hermione as whinos. It's a freakin' movie involving wizards and other netherworldly creatures out of Rowlings wild imagination! But as I read on, I started getting the heebie jeebies a bit. She makes a few good points. They are at that age. And while it is pretty much the culture in England, drinking is by no means any less of a past time here either.

The thing is, I have not seen HP yet, but my kids have. My husband even saw it, and when I asked them all about it, no one brought up the alcohol issue. I think the themes in the movie were more powerful than the alleged 'boozing' going on. Then again, I'm not one of those wound up motherly types either who thinks their kid will turn into a 'ho' or drunk based on what they saw at the movies. God help us all if that were the case.

With my teens getting older, by the minute it seems, I've started to talk to them about drinking and other risky behaviors. I don't encourage any of it, and I've made that very clear. And so far they haven't been in situations involving alcohol. But I'm not going to pretend things like this don't exist either. One would be stupid to do so. I've got high schoolers next year. I'm not living under a cave.

Hogwarts may be fiction but the 'butterbeer' drinking is real. But is that really a bad thing to show? If anything, I think it may open up the dialogue lines more.

Now I, on the otherhand, find 'butterbeer' quite intriguing. And after a long day with teens, tweens, and toddlers, o my! I could sure go for one.

Seen the movie? What do you think?

if link doesn't work, (cursed tech impediment), go to nytimes.com, 'role alcohol plays in harry potter'...very interesting

Boy, You'll Be A Man Soon

2009-07-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

Pardon my unusually long furlough. I wish I could say that it was because I'd been in Istanbul on assignment. Or in Fortaleza on vacation. Or Lucerne, or Namibia or somewhere exotic and fascinating. Somehow, writing that I've been holed up in Oregon, specifically inside the bathroom toilet training my boy, while also engaging in other summertime activities, including being a lazy dog, just doesn't quite fit the bill.

But that's what I've been up to. And, at last, he's using the toilet on his own!! Hallelujah! Actually, he has been now for the past two weeks, with- yes- a few minor accidents, but overall, he's peeing like a little man, minus the shake. We're so proud. He's funny about it too. When the 'pee' doesn't want to come out, he looks up at me and says. "It's not working." And when he does go, he comes out high fiving everyone, saying "I went, I went!" Love that.

During the process, I enforced the rule of 'Going Totally Bonkers' when he goes, to encourage and inspire him. And it's totally worked. But now I fear this may have created a little situation, the 'high on praise, low on actual work' mentality. Now, it seems whatever he does, he wants hi-fives, praise, and/or Popsicles.

He gets his shirt on. Popsicle.
He takes his shirt off. Stickers.
For crying out loud, he closes his shirt drawer. Tonka Truck.

I've created a little egocentric. Maybe I'm using hyperbole here. But I do hope that things will return to 'normal' very soon. I fully expect them to. I may have to read what wise ol' Dr. Spock has to say. Or is it Dr. Seuss?

At any rate, diapers and its evil twin, the Diaper Genie, are relics of the past for me now. Am I sad to leave such mementos of those baby years behind? Am I melancholy that my baby boy is now, at least peeing-wise, practically a man?

Oh, a little I guess. Now, its onto the next stage in his development. Be it controlling the TV remote, or leaving his socks lying behind, I say, bring it on. I'm ready.

I hope.

A Bit of Randomness

2009-07-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

One of the upsides of potty training is that my floors are now so clean, one could almost eat off them! Other than that, the drudgery continues. I've offered stickers, trains, popsicles. I've even resorted to a full day of fun at- gasp!- Chuck E. Cheese. He wants the rewards, but not willing to go 'woo woo' just yet. Exasperating, I tell ya.

Add to that, the summer's stolen half my brain, so that all I can do is think thoughts of vacation, relaxing, and swim lessons. And yes, the potty training bit.

For the writers out there, did you know the summertime's a great time to submit? A few reasons why are, agents love to read fresh material in the summer as well as the rest of normies, there's less competition, plus you get a leg up for the fall while others take time off. Not that I've done any of this, but thought I'd pass on useful infom.

OK, back to the grind.

Hope your summer's going swell!

Summer Is Here and The Living Is....

2009-07-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

So far, summer's everything I've come to expect after having spent it with kids now for the past fifteen years. I love having the kids around. Sure makes things much livelier, albeit in a less than traditional livelier sense. Any sane parent knows the bar must be set and maintained very low in order to survive, though.

I've come to never expect the house to stay clean for more than half hour tops, even after spending hours cleaning. Or for the fridge and pantry to stay stocked, even after a grocery shopping spree. And spending money at the rate of thousands per week is completely normal, what with movies, lunching out, day trips here and there. Of course some things never change. I'm still at Costco and Target every week, except now I bring my 'helpers' with me. Helpers. That's what the cashiers call them.

And if all this isn't exciting enough, this summer I've decided to really spice things up with the additional classic adventure of potty training my son. Hoo- boy. Now that's fine summer living.

Unlike those memorable childhood moments I miss and will always treasure- blow drying their hair, witnessing a doll tea party, even doing puzzles together-
potty training is one sure thing I haven't missed from the beginning. Quite the contrary actually. It's one of those things a parent would rather forget about and hope to never relive.

But here I am, knee-deep in summer, and instead of enjoying the carefree dog days, I'm wiping up messes, covering the furniture with towels, and scouting out where the public bathrooms are every time I venture out, which has been minimal. Oh, and remembering to pack those extra pair of pants. Good times.

But hey. I'm trying to focus on the positive. In addition to being able to attend preschool full time in the fall, no more diapers is going to save us a couple hundred bucks in the long run.

A few weeks of misery to save a few bucks?
A few inconveniences in my summer days?
A smile and total feeling of accomplishment my son feels when he makes it?

Priceless.

A Nugget of Comfort Amidst A Sad Sad Day

2009-06-26T11:39:00.001-07:00

I think yesterday is one day that'll go down in the record books. Two famous celebrities from my youth exit this world, while a tiny baby enters it.

I confess, I had a serious girl crush on Farrah Fawcett growing up. Wanted hair like that, teeth like that, skin like that. I idolized her, and faithfully glued myself in front of the TV to watch Charlie's Angels. It always impressed me that her lips were perpetually so shiny, so I'd always lick mine too. They wound up just chapped. Recently, I caught her documentary and was moved to tears watching it. Just didn't seem fair. Her will was so strong to live. She was so determined to beat that thing, I really thought she would. I wish I would've been right.

Jacko. What a megastar. I remember roller skating to 'Rock With You' in high school. And of course trying to moon walk. I never caught any of his concerts, but his videos were sure electrifying. Besides Elvis, was there ever anyone bigger? I don't think so. Enough said.

My youngest sister and her husband have been trying to have a child for over three years. Fertility drugs, testing, lab work, monthly appointments...not to mention the emotional roller coaster that is. They were just about to give up, when the miracle happened. Their little baby girl was born yesterday weighing in over 8lb.

All those things got me pondering quite a bit. Coincidence? I think not. While it hurts that certain icons from my youth are gone, albeit only in the physical, I take comfort in the new life that brings new opportunities. Who's to say what's in store for her and the other countless babies born into this world yesterday?
As her proud aunt, I'll be watching.

RIP Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.

Better But Still A Little Weird

2009-06-23T20:23:00.001-07:00

Back from the gallows with my head still miraculously intact, thank God. Nasty nasty. I have to hand it to Laptop though, who practically had a breakdown everyday took great care of me and our household while I was dying down. Seriously. He complained everyday hardly complained at all, brought me my hemlock tea, brought me my Uzi medicine, and all because he was
tired of hearing me whine cares so much. What a guy! Of course I was the most obnoxious model patient. Not once did I dramatize my death sentence sickness. I only thought of writing my eulogy pleasant thoughts. Or wrote my obituary chanted healthful mantras. You're supposed to do those things when you're sick, to attract healing. I did see Terms of Endearment The Secret, after all. It was nearly impossible wasn't all that hard to do. Once I stopped hacking like someone who's smoked since the third grade, my head hit the pillow, I strapped on my Iron Maiden 'Dance of Death' Zig Ziglar audio book, and could immediately feel better. That Zig's alright. In fact, I'd like to share now one of my favorites.

"Every obnoxious act is a cry for help."

He's right about that. Take for example, this post.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little strange. I'm definitely feeling better.

Help?

And thanks so much for all your well wishes and thoughts…I felt every one of them!

Over and Out...For Now

2009-06-15T22:46:00.000-07:00

This is going to feel more like a sweet note you might get from your dear sis because I'm just not up to anything more creative. I'm the fourth person to come down with some nasty virus here at the Anderson Chateau. For the past six or so days, this big bad bug has had its way with me. Usually I get over these things pretty quickly but not this time. Should've seen the Kleenex flying today. And to make matters even more exciting, my son now seems to be catching the nasty too. So I will be taking the next few days to get better, and to help my poor boy get through this.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with the link to an essay I wrote for NW Kids magazine, a wonderful family resource for families in the Portland area. We're so lucky to have them. The essay may sound familiar. It was actually based on one of my blog posts I wrote awhile back, but as they say, better the second time around.

After much tea, rest, and vitamins, I hope to be back atcha real soon!

Are We Having Fun Yet?

2009-06-09T11:24:00.001-07:00

There are really few sounds more annoying than the sound of your 15 year old daughter's phone coming from deep inside the vent, like some kind of black hole, impossible to reach, where her little brother hurled it last night during one of their altercations. She's 15. He's 3. Kind of serves her right for teasing him. Word of advice here: if you have a toddler/teen, same difference, please do yourselves a favor and nail down those vent covers with the biggest nails you can find. I asked Laptop to do so, like 3 years ago. As I seem to recall, he said he'd get to it later. Later never came, so I told him the cost for her new phone would be coming out of his Father's Day shopping money.

The other most annoying sound is the one of said daughter's shrieks and yells after it happened, as she convulsed violently in a conniption fit. I'm pretty sure I saw foam coming out of her mouth. You'd a thought she was losing one of her limbs or something the way she went about sobbing and carrying on. Of course, that phone has become like an appendage in a way, so clearly, it must have hurt like hell. She spent practically the whole evening, bending clothes hangers, twisting and turning, attaching them to the end of the broomstick, trying to fish that phone out. To no avail. I gave up after twenty minutes. See what a fun life I lead?

Well, she must have left it fully charged and on vibrate because today, all I kept hearing was that vibrating sound going off, EVERY FIVE MINUTES!! Just who is this kid anyway, the President? Who on earth could be trying to reach her SO desperately? And WHY? They're all supposed to be in class. I highly doubt her friends would be calling to remind her to bring her algebra book. Call me paranoid, but I've got some sneaking suspicions. And like the proactive parent I am, I'm onto her and her scheming, conniving, manipulative little plans. They're about to be foiled.

I'm heading out to the mall. If I see her or any of those girls hanging out at 'Forever XXI', so help me God, I will personally hurt her. Then she'll really know what it feels like to lose a limb.

That'll teach her.

Addendum: I may have been over re-acting ever so slightly. Turns out that vibrating sound every five minutes was actually her alarm going off.

Huh. Who knew she even used one. Oh well. At least I found some good Father's Day deals. I'm sure Laptop will be thrilled.

A Rose By Any Other Name

2009-06-05T16:26:00.000-07:00

And a happy VGNO to all! That stands for Virtual Girls Night Out hosted by Ann at Ann Again..and again. What better party could an 'over-worked-under-appreciated-ain't-nuff-money-you-could-pay-to-do-what-we-do' mom ask for than one where she doesn't have to dress up? Why I'm still in my pj's and house slippers! Or let's just say, what I'm wearing right now could certainly pass for sleepwear. Yes, it was one of those days. My internet kept failing, I got lost, in the rain, my wipers stopped working, I broke a fake nail...

Anywho, Ann asked the question, "What is your favorite flower?" That's much better. Just thinking about them alone evokes feelings of peace and relaxation.

Mine has to be the rose. I love those, used them for my wedding bouquet. They're so symbolic for me. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Beautiful, but watch out for those thorns. Sounds a lot like life sometimes, wouldn't you say?

I also think for the writers and poets among us, what a great topic flowers make to write on. You could spend hours describing the smell, the texture, the colors, their environment, and the proper care, not to mention the myriad of metaphors contained within. So now that you know a bit of how I feel about flowers, head on over to Ann's if you're interested in joining the partay!!

Sur La Maison, Cherie!

2009-06-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

I tortured myself mercilessly this weekend.

"Why?" you're probably asking. I asked myself the same thing. I did not get a decent answer.

"How?" you're probably wondering. Did she jab herself repeatedly with a skinny sewing needle? Did she pour hot liquid glue from the glue gun on her eyelids? Did she sit through an entire episode of Paris Hilton's "My New BFF" show?

No, no. Even I care about my sanity enough to avoid watching Paris Hilton anything.

I bought one of those home decor magazines. It gets worse. I read it, and then I spent two afternoons trying to make my home look like that. See? Merciless.

Why am I such a slave to those things? Why, I have stacks and stacks of home decor magazines dating back to 1923! Some styles are timeless! OK, they're from 2000, but still. Laptop thinks I've spent the equivalent of one college tuition on those. Probably right.

I do love my home but I'm always thinking of ways to make it better, which is probably a good thing. My style's evolved from the 'Romper Room' primary color scheme to the more sophisticated 'French Country' look. And that's where everything tends to break down.

Now I love the French but do you have any idea how picky they are? Do you know what perfectionists they can be? Do you know how much pride they take in their craftsmanship? Not any old doorknob or hinge from Lowe's is going to do. No siree! It must be a doorknob Marie Antoinette herself might have gone to trial and died for. Or a hinge Napoleon would've plunged the country into war over. That's the quality of artisan work found in the true French country home. I tried explaining this to Laptop as he stood there mouth agape asking "Where's our bedroom door?"

OK, I didn't actually remove the door but I did try explaining things. A puzzled look later, he just said "We'd better get to Lowe's before they close."

Oh well. I finally came to my senses. If I can't have that true French country look, I will most certainly enjoy true delicious French cuisine.

McDonald's French fries, here I come!

And many thanks for all of your kind words of support on that last minor speed bump with the writing. I guess every undertaking has its share, and this is no different. But speed bumps only slow us down. They're not stopping me and I hope that whatever speed bump you may be facing in your life doesn't stop you either!

Six Word Saturday

2009-05-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

Today I thought I'd describe my life right now in six words from Show My Face(if you'd like to participate, click the button and join in).

Coming up with those six words wasn't that hard to do. After a busy, stressful, depressing sort of week (I got a rejection on that submission ), I am

SO NOT FEELING THIS 'WRITER' THING!!!

Just had to be honest about how I feel. But I press on because that's just how I choose to roll. My life is very good and there are lots of positive things going on that I will concentrate on today. One day at a time, right? Right on!

Hope your day is swell!

Jon and Who, Now?

2009-05-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

OK. I've got a confession. Up until recently, as in the last month or so, I had no idea who Jon and Kate were. I'd heard something about this TV reality show with 8 kids, and frankly, that's where the interest ended for me. If I'm going to watch a reality show, it's going to be about some unfit aging celebrities going to boot camp (I know, I can be pathetic sometimes), some aging rock star trying to find true love-again- or some people trying to sign major recording contracts. But usually, unless its the Supernanny (cause who doesn't love how Jo TELLS IT LIKE IT IS), it won't be a show about two sorely outnumbered poor parents and their EIGHT kids. The title alone stresses me out. I'm a little stressed with four of my own, the last thing I need is stress from watching TV. Maybe they should call the SuperNanny...

I realize I'm probably the last person on earth who hasn't watched this show because the way I've been seeing the headlines recently, you'd really think this was truly a global crisis of some sort: 'Jon and Kate's Marriage on the Rocks." "Did Jon Cheat?" "Kate's Crazy Hair To Blame." Blah blah blah. Listen, having 8 kids has GOT to be tough on any marriage, 8 young ones at that. And I sympathize. Its just that, well, I sort of have a hard time feeling bad for them if they have THEIR OWN TV show, they're celebrities, and cashing in like Fort Knox. I mean, isn't that what soap operas are all about? Truth be told, I'd rather watch the Buchanan's in Lanview all over again.

Unless...

This is some kind of marketing gimmick to get folks like me to start watching.

Oh wait, that thought just sort of gave me a stress headache thinking about it. Gonna go check to when 'Celebrity Boot Camp' comes on...

Remembering

2009-05-25T00:48:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happened on the way home from the store yesterday. After church, we stopped at Safeway to buy some things for lunch and the cutest sweetest old lady was sitting on a bench outside looking for a ride home. She must've been in her 90's, but still a spunky ol' gal and sharp as a tack too. The lady pushing her cart directly in front of my husband basically ignored her and kept walking. Hub's on the other hand offered to give her a lift. With our help she made it into the car, I placed her walker in the trunk, and we drove a whole entire block to her house. In that short amount of time, we learned her name- Patricia B., that she usually walks the block from the store (her foot was bothering her that day), that her grandfather was from the same town my mom now lives in- Wheaton, IL (talk about small world!), and that he was a soldier who died fighting in the Civil War. The Civil War!!

Of course we don't hear of this war much anymore, unless you're in junior high or something. I'm sure Patricia heard plenty of it in her youth. Today, its Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran. And some day, way in the future, I'll be a spunky sharp 90 something telling someone younger of how I knew a neighbor or a friend's son who served in the Iraq war, and hopefully, they'll say 'WOW! We haven't had one in ages!" Hopefully.

As we fire up the grill, eat way too many brats, watermelon, and potato salad, I hope we can all take time to honor those who've served and paid the ultimate sacrifice in the name of freedom. Whether recently, or like Patricia's grandfather, a long long time ago, those men and women, I think, are the real American Idols.

Happy Memorial Day!!

Third Grade Politics

2009-05-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

The other day, my third grade daughter walks into the kitchen, drops her backpack, slumps down at the counter, sighs, and puts her bewildered face in her hands. Of course I asked her to mind the baby while I showered. Just joking. I asked, of course, "What's wrong?"

Seems she's having a conflict of interest with a classmate. Their class is having a small performance as part of the endless 'End of Year Celebrations' going on and she needed to recruit five little pals to join her in her skit. Well, it turns out another little girl with a huge charming personality, who we'll just call 'Liza', was also doing a skit and needed 15 pals to join her (must be choreographing a dance routine from 'A Chorus Line' or something), and the five pals my kid needed were also being recruited by this little girl.

My accumulated years of motherly comely wisdom on collaboration, cooperation, and negotiation was abruptly abated when the elder daughter, who happened to be present, offered her own Tony Soprano-esque advice bordering on manipulation, bribing, and general cajoling. She simply offered, "Just tell Liza she can have a juicy part in your skit."

Must've worked. Liza took the bait and now there's about seven little girls performing the skit. And what has my daughter cooked up to showcase her and her friends' many talents?

The Hillshire Farms "GO MEAT" commercial song. Turns out this catchy little tune is much more enticing to sing than any Bob Fosse number.

Her father and I couldn't be more proud. Let's just hope the other kid's parents feel the same way.

Been Awhile

2009-05-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

My Top Eleven Reasons For Why I Haven't Blogged In Over A Century Or At Least That's What It Feels Like Or At Least That's What Some Of You Might Be Thinking

11) Swine flu scare
10) Bird flu scare
9) Mad cow scare
8) OK, not really. How about been feeling a little under the weather
7) Too much Twittering
6) Too much FaceBook-ing
5) Too much The Office and 30 Rock watching
4) OK, again not really. How about been too distracted with other things
3) Reading through the classics. Again.
2) Reading through the Encyclopedia Brittanica. Again.
1) OK, so I'm only reading "The Catcher in the Rye", and this isn't a classic, YET, but "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy" which I've been devouring, again, is a very helpful book for us parents of said crazy teens.

As an aspiring writer, I've also been well, writing and submitted a few things. Will be sure to let you know once they've been rejected, er that is, accepted!

Hopefully, I'm back in the saddle again and looking forward to catching up on all of your blogs and your lives.

Cheers!

My Mom Logic

2009-05-03T21:43:00.001-07:00

One of the many wonderful sites I follow is MomLogic, which I would really encourage all moms or dads to read. They're chock full of interesting, updated and helpful info for all you parents out there. You won't be sorry you did.

I've been reading through some of the mom logic posts they have posted for their 'Mother of all Bloggers' contest. Voting for my favorite is going to be freaking hard. They're all so damn good. I could so relate to each and everyone in one way or the other. As all moms do, I know we all feel we have our own unique tale to tell about what our own personal mom logic is.

I know for me it's a very easy tale to tell. It's kissing boo boo's. It's high fiving a goal. It's reading 'Goodnight Moon' for the twelvth time that night. It's making sure she's got her cell phone charged while she's out. It's praying, always praying for the best.

As we continue to trudge through these somewhat turbulent teen years, it's learning to hold my tongue before unleashing a barrage of utterances that will Lead. To. Nowhere. It's sometimes having nothing to say in response to her being 'dropped' by her 'friend' and offering consolation in the form of a Jamba Juice smoothie instead. It's understanding that as much as she needs me, she'd rather stab her eye with a pencil than to admit it. It's knowing that that's actually absolutely typical teen behavior! It's giving her back her cell phone, because she needed it to text me to apologize. It's knowing that teens don't speak anymore thanks to almighty texting! It's a knowing look between her and I, a look of 'yea, we're good' that not even a million, or a few words could say.

But wait! There's more! Lest anyone think that I deserve the 'June Cleaver Mother of the Year' award or some such nonsense...

It's letting the dishes mildew in the sink, letting the laundry reach dangerous heights, and letting the dust bunnies take over the house sometimes. OK, a lot. Because as much as I am my kid's mom, I'm also striving to be true to myself, to being a writer, to working out, to sometimes saying 'no' to volunteering. Because I've only got two arms. And after all, what good am I to anyone if I'm an unhappy grouch with two arms?! Those things also make me happy. And you know what they say.

If mama ain't happy....

The Dish on Potluck Dishes

2009-05-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

OK, so for those of you hiding under a cave, wink wink, its time for VGNO! Virtual girls night out hosted by the lovely and talented Ann of Ann Again...and again.

So this week her post is about potlucks and the dishes we bring. What a fun thing to blog about! If you're a mom, a wife, a significant other, a human being, you know what this is. And I've attended my share in my almost 17 illustrious years as wife/ mom. Some dishes I've brought were gone within the hour, and some...well let's say, the good ol garbage disposal had a feast!! But isn't it funny how we check in to see how our dishes are 'doing,' how they're 'stacking up' among the other dishes? How we're secretly rooting for our little dishes to be liked and gobbled up by the partygoers? C'mon, you know what I'm talking about. Why is that I wonder? I'm sure it stems back to high school or earlier, probably from the womb. Oh well, I'll leave that to the phd's to figure out. In the meantime, I'll continue to bring in my Martha-esque inspired creation (maybe THAT'S the problem!) to the 'End of lacrosse party!' Or maybe I'll just stick to a safer bet, like 'Senor Taco.' Their tacos are super awesome.

Like Ann's husband, mine has also graciously eaten the less than desired items on several occasions! My kids too! OK, so I have to bribe them...but no one at the party has to know. Right? Right on!!

In the Good Old Summertime

2009-04-27T18:00:00.000-07:00

Well summer's around the corner. Up until the past week or so we've had amazing summer like weather. I've been able to get lots of yard work done. Several yard debris filled receptacles as well as multiple trips to Lowe's later, I'm one step (of about 10,000) closer to achieving the yard of my dreams. Those glossy landscaping pamphlets sure do a good job on my impressionable mind. But more pressing on that mind is the fact that summer means no school. I know. Duh. But honestly, that realization tends to weigh like an iron clad ship on my shoulders.

In the dream version, I am armed and ready for the onslaught of complaints. "I'm BORED" and "There's NOTHING to do" are just a few that come to mind. I've signed them all up for the camps they actually want, not the 'lame' ones. Not only that, but they get to go with their friends. Then there's movies at dusk, plays, swimming every day, daily crafts, and NOT ONE DAY of TV in view. In addition, we've got all our summer vacation plans set in stone (not shifting sand), the yard's done, and the kids are like the children Von Trapp and I'm like Maria and we merrily sing away to 'Do Re Mi' all summer long.

The reality unfortunately, is a bit more nightmarish. I'm still in the decision making stage as far as camps go. I think I've got it narrowed down to about...25 so far. Acting camps, tumbling camps, bug camps. Did you know I found an American Idol camp once? So much to choose from. Then there are the vacation plans. I thought it was Chicago to visit friends and family, but Laptop is now saying to get the passports ready, though he's being very discreet about it. He's been doing some research and seems now is a great time for dream vacations, as everything is on sale. But I really don't like the suspense. As long as we're together I suppose, I don't really care. note to self: leave a few Isle of Capri brochures lying around just in case.

Then there's the daily summer stuff. I've vowed to not turn on the TV, and get this, the kids backed me up on that! Seriously, it will be off most of the time, only in the direst of emergencies. Now what constitutes an emergency is something that I'm going to need to resolve, and quick. Statements like "I'm Bored" shouldn't. Neither should "Summer sucks," "I hate summer," and "I wish I was back in school." Sometimes kids say stuff they don't mean.

It is my goal to keep these kids' minds off TV and boredom for as long as I can. But if I hear those cmplaints AFTER a day of swimming, AFTER a day of miniature golfing, AFTER a day of painting ceramics, AFTER A DAY OF GOOD OL' SUMMER FUN -cause dammit we're going to have good ol summer fun!- well, that to me is about as emergency as you can get. Pass the remote. And the wine.

My Blogs Charming? Thanks!

2009-04-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

A very sweet bloggy friend gave me the friend award! Kristen at Ladybug Blessings, even that name is sweet, bestowed this wonderful blessing. And now I get to pass it onto 8 other blogs that exemplify what this award stands for. Here are the rules:

These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbon of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

Most if not all the blogs I read I find charming, in their own unique way, as we are all unique artists striving to make the best of our God given talents. Sometimes it's through poignant reflection, others it's through laugh out loud funny stories. Sometimes our stories come through in photography, writing, or sharing recipes. Sometimes we teach, mostly we all learn. I know I've learned a lot from these bloggers in one way or the other. If you haven't read them, take a look for yourselves. You might find pieces of your own reflection looking right back.

Erin at exhale. return to center
Tabitha at Fresh Mommy
Joanne at Whole Latte Life
Liz at Motherlogue
Deb at I Need A Martini Mom
Kelli at My Voice, My View
Mary Jo at Writers Inspired
Andrea at Blogging Mama

Just Sayin Hello

2009-04-24T11:29:00.001-07:00

I thought it was because I had broccoli stuck between my teeth or something, but then again, it was only 10 am. Don't know about anyone else, but usually I don't eat my broccoli that early. I thought maybe that was why my warm smile and friendly 'hello' was met with such disdain and indifference. I was at the kids drop off area at the gym when I ran into a fellow Grinch mom. She looked at me like I was some kind of freak. 'Um…ok' I thought to myself as I walked away. I strapped on my ipod, set my music blaring, and imagined the treadmill as her face pounded the treadmill. After the full 50 minutes, Pretty soon I was over feeling mad as a hornets' nest this person's reaction. I actually started feeling a bit sorry for her. I mean, if someone can't appreciate a kind gesture by a goofball fun loving whacky yet sincere another person, let alone a fellow mom, well that person's definitely in need of serious meds obviously very troubled. Or maybe she was just having a bad morning.

The rest of the day went much smoother and most everyone I said 'hello' to said a friendly 'hi' back.

Then I realized it was because I did have broccoli stuck in my teeth sometimes people just don't want to be bothered. I get that way never sometimes.

Still, though, a simple hello never killed anyone. Did it 'woman found strangled at health club'?

Enjoy the weekend!

Celebrate Our Earth

2009-04-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

Happy Earth Day! Personally, I think every day should be earth day but I get it. I only hope that whatever we do today to make this a better place, will continue long after today is over. My nine year old has our day already planned out.

After she gets home from school, she'd like to head out to a park and pick up trash. Then she'd like to replace the lightbulbs in our house with the eco friendly ones. Then she'd like to plant the sunflower seeds that have been sitting on my desk for a week now. Lastly she'd like to carpool with friends to go see the new Disney movie 'Earth.' Phew! Kids gonna be CEO someday!

Really, though, I feel very grateful that she is so aware of our planet's current state, and has taken personal responsibility as one of its youngest citizens to do something about it. Part of that is due to ongoing discussions we have at home about recycling, conserving water, and being eco friendly. Part is the school district, which has been doing a phenomenal job in teaching these kids. Part is the media. It doesn't hurt that Leo DiCaprio has become such a voice for eco change. At the Nick Kids Choice Awards, which my kids sat 2 feet away from the TV to watch, he accepted an award for his contributions to our planet. It made an impression. (Then they had to go ruin everything by letting The Pussycat Dolls perform, but that's another story). I think its good and right that celebrities use their status to bring awareness to important issues. I read that Halle Berry spent 60k on 'green-ifying' her babies THREE nurseries! Hey, my kids all just had one, but whatever! Go Halle!

How will you and your family celebrate Earth Day today?

Stay green!

The Girl Can Sing!

2009-04-20T00:18:00.000-07:00

I, like the other trillion of you out there, have seen the Susan Boyle video
at least a trillion times. And every time I watch it I still get choked up. I've had time to think about this story and its mass appeal. I've heard it could've been fabricated or manufactured. I mean, TV producers do know a little about this, but either way, her story is touching and moving in every way. For me these are the four reasons why.

I loved her accent, as I do most peoples accents. Except the really impossible to understand, extremely excruciatingly hard ones that leave me exhausted and drained just by listening. Those are just torture. Anyway, I myself try to fake an accent sometimes. My specialty is a cross between Penelope Cruz and Catherine Deneuve. Sadly though, people mistaken me for someone with a speech or learning disability, so I don't do it often. But I try.

Second, her appearance. I love it. I mean, she's from a village outside of Edinburgh, where I'm sure there are more sheep grazing the hillsides than residents! She dressed like a person who might be taking care of her ill mother, who lives in a village. In other words real and authentic, the polar opposite of what they expected. So unHollywood and I love her for it.

Thirdly, her age. She's 47 and onstage doing what she's always wanted to do. That takes guts, character, and determination. Personally, it shatters any and every excuse that I might have. She proves its never too late to follow your heart's passion. Hopefully she'll continue to inspire those older but forever, young at heart.

Finally, the girl has some pipes on her, and wasn't too afraid to show it! And the world is now a better place because she did. If you've got a talent, you owe it to the world to show it.

So there you have it. Why I love Susan Boyle.

Man, this has TV movie written all over it.

Hey, maybe I should write the screenplay...

See, already dreaming big.

Are you???

VGNO

2009-04-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday night!

Because it was one of those weeks(!), and becasue I'm always up for a good party, especially the kind where I don't have to get dressed or fight for the last parking spot- the virtual kind- I'm doing the VGNO from the wonderful blogger Ann of Ann Again...and again. Here's the post off her blog. See which librarian alter ego you are. I am Pepper Featherbottom. I like it! Happy VGNO all!

Librarian Alter Ego

If your first name begins with letters A - E, your first name would be: Bubbles. Follow the chart to see what your Librarian's Alter Ego name is.
First Name=
A - E: Bubbles
F - J: Cookie
K - O: Pepper
P - T: Honey
U - Z: Pebbles

Last Name=
A - E: Featherbottom
F - J: Ivanabee-Queen
K - O: Rhea-Listik
P - T: Anitacocktail
U - Z: Mona-Lott

Choices

2009-04-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

At one of the local theaters, two movies are playing:

"Knowing" in one theater.

"Doubt" in the other.

Hm....there's a message in there somewhere.

Enjoy the weekend!

My Daughter, the Teacher

2009-04-13T12:02:00.000-07:00

A first occurred on Saturday. A first, at least, for this household. My eldest daughter got up at, gasp, 9am! She originally set her alarm to go off at 7:30, but hey, she IS a teen after all. And it wasn’t for a soccer game, a job, or a social affair. And it wasn’t from me or her dad banging on her door. We know better. We’re lucky if she graces us with her presence before noon. On Saturday, she got up on her own, got herself ready, and headed to our small downtown to take some pictures. The light drizzle didn’t stop her, neither did the cloudy skies. Dressed in running pants and flip flops, the teen uniform, she was determined to get some good decent shots before downtown got too crowded with people. She focuses mainly on nature. I was one shocked mama. But I was also one inspired one too.

Photography’s become her passion, her obsession. I don’t know how long she’ll keep it up for. She may decide next week that she doesn’t really like it so much anymore. Or she may go on to pursue it relentlessly. But I’ve seen her. When she decides its what she wants she goes for it. Makes the sacrifices; stays up late, gets up early.
I saw the pictures. I was quick to lavish praise. I’m no trained photographer, but these pictures were damned good. No blurriness, no out of focus, interesting angles. They weren’t your average teen pictures of them goofing off, making faces at the camera, although, she’s taken plenty of those. These were focused, deliberate, intentional.

She’s thinking of turning it into a small business, donating the proceeds to charity. Not only will this look awesome on a college resume, but more importantly I think, will nurture her soul and her passion while helping others in the process. Help her to spread her wings. See how far she can fly in the field. For now.

I thought about the many times I’ve lost my patience with her over not finishing her homework on time, or missing her school bus cause she didn‘t get up. Or when she teased her younger sister, or blatantly refused to mind me. I thought about how even though I’m the parent, she often teaches me a thing or two. Like on Saturday.

While at the library later to pick up some items on hold, I signed out some photography books I thought she’d like. Should’ve seen the look on her face: “Thanks mom!!" Like they were prized possessions.

Its a good day when your 15 yr. old daughter gives you a big bear hug. In that moment, I only thought of this: I have a great life.

And if you’re REALLY bored and need to know more, follow me on twitter. Can’t guarantee any earth shattering updates, but maybe a few chuckles, good info, and juicy gossip! The good kind.

2009-04-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY EASTER!

Off to watch kiddos find their baskets and eggs, hidden throughout the house. Its almost like Christmas around here!!

Enjoy your Sunday!

Agent Mom

2009-04-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

It’s times like last week after watching Oprah,(why is Oprah always involved somehow?)that I’d wished I’d placed a tape recorder inconspicuously about the house, recording everything my kids say and then using that as concrete evidence against the little perpetrators. If I was really conniving and tech savvy, I’d install a surveillance system complete with satellites sprinkled here and there for added effect as well. Sort of like the CIA and KGB but better because there’d be no disposing of bodies, tempting as it sounds.

That days episode was on the recession and how to cope. Financial guru Suze Orman was on, dispensing a plethora of advice, as usual. Since I love hearing a plethora of financial advice, and since we’re a fairly large family, I take coping on any level very very seriously. One of her suggestions was for people to try living on half of what they make. For double income families, live on one income. For one income-ers, live on half of that. We are one income-ers, for now.

After I wiped the tea I accidentally snorted out of my nose and sprayed onto my carpet from laughing so hard at such impractical foolishness, my thirteen year old daughter, who happened to be watching with me stated, her words exactly, “Mom. We need to do that.”

After hearing THAT and again wiping up more tea, (beginning to feel like a stroke victim or something) I composed myself and said, not a little too suredly, “Uh…alright.” Anytime a self proclaimed authority on fashion teenaged girl boldly approves of monetarily cutting back, it can only mean one of two things: she's supremely misinformed of the practicals implied, and living in LaLa land. Or she doesn't believe the rules apply to her. To her siblings, yes. But to her, no. But hey, I went with it. It could work.

Cut to next scene, a day later. Same daughter and I are at Urban Outfitters buying her friend’s birthday gift, when it starts.

“I need new shorts for the summer. Can I?” ($50)
“Oh, aren’t these cute sandals, mine are falling apart. Can I?” ($30)
“Oh look this dress is adorable. Please, can I?” ($3 million)
And it went on and on and on. From nail polishes to bangles, nothing was off limits. I was no longer mom. I’d morphed into ‘Mom- Can I?’

I gently reminded her that we weren’t there for her, and of her enthusiastic support for Suze’s plan a mere day earlier, to save our lives from sure financial shipwreck by cutting back and spending within our means. With those prices, doing some quick calculations in my head, we’d be living out of the car in no time.

In a diatribe, she replied “You laughed at that! Besides its not fair! Why are you and dad so cheap? I don’t even get allowance anymore? Look, the shirt’s even on sale!” She's a good salesperson, that one.

But like any good military general or clandestine agent, I held my position.
'No', I said firmly.

Then I resorted to bribery. A DCCF from Starbucks. Teens love those things.

On the way home, I vowed to pull out that old tape recorder stashed away somewhere in the garage.

I wonder if the CIA is taking applications...

When Unexpected Company Calls

2009-03-31T12:48:00.001-07:00

Another spring break has come and gone. Up until Friday, everything was humming along nicely. We started out the break on the mountain, and ended up on the coast. Gotta love Oregon for that!

Now, I don't know about you, but when I'm on break, under no circumstances do I attempt to clean too much. Do you know how incredibly frustrating it is to keep things clean when the kids are home? If you're a mom you're probably going 'hell yea!' At least when they're in school, things manage to stay clean for maybe, 1/2 hour. But on break, I'm lucky if the kitchen is clean for 5 minutes. Right? Right.

So when I learned that my brother in-law and family were flying in from Indy, and possibly staying at our house for a night, I went completely psycho. In strangling my husband that is. Why would he inform me of this just 24 hours prior to their arrival? Oh, right. He's a guy that's why.

Needless to say, I got busy. With my iPod blaring Euro-techno, I bopped around dusting, vacuuming, swiffering. And all was going well.

Until I got to the bathrooms. At that point, I contemplated just writing out a letter, and tacking it to the door. Something along the lines of:

"Dear Jim and Susy,

Unless you all have strong stomachs, are really into Sci-Fi, or don't value your health too much, I strongly advise and encourage you to stay clear of the bathrooms. As far as I know, they haven't been declared a health hazard yet by the CDC, the EPA, or other governing body. But they're indeed UGLY. While most master baths are enticing enough to encourage meditation, lingering, and relaxation, you'll find ours conveys the message 'get the hell out as quickly as possible.' We've been meaning to remodel it now for the past four years, but you know how that goes. I guess the kids dental work was higher priority. I've scrubbed and scrubbed but man! Those lime stains won't budge! As for the kids bathroom downstairs, you might want to don those masks usually reserved for outbreaks like SARS or cholera. We're not entirely sure what's growing down there.

Safeway, the library, and Starbucks all have excellent facilities for your convenience.

Sincerely,
your sis in-law"

Knowing Jim and Susy, they would've just laughed it off and plunged in anyway. I would've feigned illness for the next 10 family reunions, too embarrassed to show my face. As it turned out, the gods were kind to everyone, their flight was delayed and they wound up staying at a hotel with a nice relaxing lime free bathroom. And I masterfully used this situation, this potential scourge of bathroom humiliation to argue a strong case to my husband.

We get new shower doors in a few weeks. It's a start at least. Lock and load.

Glad to be back!

Tag Time

2009-03-23T12:23:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all (I sound like Paula Deen, don't I?),
I'll be away from the computer this week on spring break. With skiing, a drive up to Seattle (lets pray for sun!), and an indoor water park adventure planned, I'm certain I will have plenty of blog fodder to post next week. I will try to visit your blogs.
But before you throw rotten tomatoes at the screen, I forgot I was tagged awhile back from the lovely Andrea at Blogging Mama. So I get to share personal private information with you that you probably don't care to know but I have to follow the rules, k? Here goes, in no particular order of importance:

1. I've had two lucid dreams in my entire life. They were the strangest, weirdest, cosmic-est things ever. If you've never had one, it's difficult to describe; sort of like having an out of body experience. Also very hard to describe; use your imagination. Now I KNOW all that Pink Floyd music I listened to in college went straight to my psyche.

2. I was 'barista to the rich and famous' while working at Starbucks in Chicago. Among the many celebrities I served up a latte or two: Stephen Tyler, Gary Shandling, Billie Jean King, the late great movie critic Gene Siskel, bazillionaire Sam Zell. So they weren't all A-listers, who cares! Apparently, I missed Eric Clapton and David Byrne by mere seconds. Drats!! I swear I will write up a post about those experiences one of these days.

3. I worked at a hospital and one of the docs horrifically assumed I was pre-med. He asked me to assist him in removing stitches from a patients scalp. Do you know how easily the scalp bleeds? I found out, nearly lost it, and excused myself STAT! (a little hospital humor for all you Scrubs fans).

4. I have this strange fascination with things from the 20's, 30's and 40's, movies, furniture, artwork. I really think I may have lead a prior life during that time. Maybe I was Lauren Bacall. Oh wait, she's still alive. Tallulah Bankhead then.

5. My husband and I are both lefties, yet none of our four kids are.

6. Among the many drawings I've entered, the prizes I've won so far include: a Schwinn bike, a turkey, a few books, and tickets to Thomas and Friends. If anyone has a Christian Louboutin shoes give away, call me!

7. I took a week long Hypnotherapy/NLP course once. Fascinating. I really do believe in the power of hypnosis. Neuro linguistic programming can be very effective, but one needs to find the right teacher. Too many shysters out there.

8. I've held many spiritual/religious views in the past: Catholic, zealot Christian, moderate Christian, Buddhism, the Tao, New Thought, and most recently Kabbalah. I try to take away from these experiences the main essence of its message. They all lead me back to the source: God.

Two more...

9. I went to Disneyland for the first time last summer. I'd been to Disneyworld a bunch of times. I like them both equally for different reasons.

10. I'm still in love with Laptop even after 16 years of marriage.

Now I bequeath this lovely award to:

Septembermom
Francesca
Julie
Cassi
G
Debbie
Jenni
Liz
annie
Joanne

Have fun(sorry if you've already received this)!

Life is Fragile

2009-03-20T09:57:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've all heard by now of Natasha Richardon's passing on Wednesday. I'm still in a bit of shock by the freakishness of that accident. We're going skiing over spring break, and you can bet your hynie we'll all be wearing helmets. Maybe not Laptop, he's a black double diamond expert. Show off.

I'd seen on NBC Nightly News that she'd been in a ski accident, and figured it must be pretty serious to make the evening news. But I had no idea how serious. The next day my daughter ran up to me: "Did you hear that the mom from 'The Parent Trap' died?" Turns out she and her little friend had been texting each other about it, equally in shock as I was. I dropped whatever it was I was holding, a cup I think, put my hand over my mouth, and began to cry. I do not even know this person but at that moment it didn't matter.

Her status, her fame, her theater family royalty, her famous husband. None of that mattered. She was a human being, a devoted wife and mother, from what I could tell. She could've been my next door neighbor, or one of the moms at my kids school. And now she was gone, leaving behind a grief stricken husband and two sons.

It's made me remember where we all come from. Published, not published, working, unemployed, skinny, fat... I could go on and on. At the core of our very being is a soul and there will come a time for that soul to return from whence it came. We don't know the time or the circumstances as to when, but I do know this. I'm here to honor my soul, to love, to use whatever good comes my way to help others, to not judge, and to live life as fully as I can.

I said a small prayer for her, and for the family she leaves behind. I know she's in a better place, healed, and whole now. I also prayed her sudden death makes me even more grateful for every single day.

Please take care of yourselves.

Tired of Being Tired

2009-03-17T09:44:00.001-07:00

Did it get even busier or is it just me? These past few days have been nothing short of 'crazee' busy. Now, I like any regular over scheduled mom and her kids likes to keep things a little spicy and hopping, lest I go insane in the membrane. One must keep on her pedicured toes (and a full gas tank) in order to keep from being too stagnant and idle, thereby, dutifully fulfilling all the motherly obligations that beckon, I think.

But this? This lately has been like the week before New York Fashion week. Not that I've ever been to one but I've watched enough 'Sex and The City' to get an idea. I can only imagine those harried designers in their thick Prague accents barking out orders to their equally harried and abused assistants: "No! 'I said I need a belt', not 'I think I'm going to melt'! Vazt the matter viz you, you wretch!"

Briefly, son gets sick, requiring a few trips to urgent care, daughter gets sick, daughter stays home from school, other kids forget lunches, projects, snacks, mom brings them up to school, blog suffers from neglect, son feeling much better, son floods bathroom, son falls on wet bathroom floor, mom trips on runner while rushing to console crying son, blog continues to suffer, mom misses kids ortho appointment, mom reschedules ortho appointment, mom gets sick, mom can't afford to get sick, mom drinks Pomegranate tea like mad, mom orders Baja Fresh for dinner, kids forget to feed neighbors cat, mom has to feed said cat, mom picks up Subway for dinner, mom collapses in total state of exhaustion, 'Calgon Take Me Away!' slogan rendered completely useless at this point.

I guess I picked a bad week to proclaim that I will be a published writer someday. Ah, well.

At least I've got my health back, happy happy day.

So...how are you?

Post Tour Notes

2009-03-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Whew! Did you get all that from Christina?? Go ahead and re-read it again, like a trillion times as I did. I have to be honest. I LOATHE the business side to any endeavor. I would gladly trade in my entire ensemble of Suzanne Somer's 'Thigh Master Toning System' to get out of dealing with it. Its tedious, exhausting, and personally, I find it boring. I don't know why that is. I suspect it may be partly due to my right brain dominated impediment. The other part is I haven't familiarized myself enough with it.
But it's not like I've never tried either. I mean, I can do business. For example:
I was a Cookie manager for Brownie Troop 1435. Don't laugh. It was a lot of calculating, tracking, and paperwork.
I set up weekly grocery budgets, help pay the bills at home, and manage multiple schedules. Still haven't figured out how to be at two places at the same time, but working on it.
I've helped my kids run several successful lemonade stands like any good Midwestern mom should. Last summer they raked in 14 bucks in one hour. It was a very hot day.
Of course kids smiling cute and talking with a slight lisp is a little different than creating a platform, marketing your work, and writing a sellable book proposal.
That's why I asked Christina to stop by. She always tells it like it is. No sugar coating. No mincing of words. Just flat out honest to goodness facts, some of which are easier to swallow than others. Like those humungous pregnancy horsepills I had to take. I needed a lot of water to get those puppies down.
But I really appreciate the message's candor. I'd much rather know what I'm dealing with upfront, than to get broadsided. Especially in this age, we need to arm ourselves with as much knowledge and info if we want to grow our writing careers.
Luckily, the internet makes finding all of that a lot easier.
My own answer to the questions is that I'm in touch with a lot of published writers now more so than ever. I'm working on building those connections into stronger ones. I'm going to a writers conference later this summer, a few workshops in between, and looking to take classes again soon. I don't know a helluva lot about the way the publishing industry works yet, but I read, ask a lot of questions, and then just do it. It's the only way to get ahead sometimes. I guess I'll hold off on shopping for a Book Launching Party dress for now.
In due time, all in due time.

Enjoy the weekend!

The Winner Is...

2009-03-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for participating in yesterday's giveaway. I'm sure you found the information as useful as I did.

And the lucky winner of yesterday's book giveaway is Cassi! Congratulations Cassi! Your book is on its way shortly.

Head on over to Mary Jo Campbell's blog today for post #11 on The Writer Mama Book Tour.

Have a great day!

Guest Blogger: Christina Katz

2009-03-10T00:09:00.000-07:00

I'm so very honored to be today's host for the Writer Mama Two Year Anniversary Blog Tour! Please read the post below, then leave a comment to the questions to be automatically entered to win a signed copy of "Writer Mama: How to Raise A Writing Career Alongside Your Kids." The random winner will be announced tomorrow.

I took Christina's WPSS class last year, right around this time and have never looked back. The Writer Mama Riffs is one of the most inspiring practical and supportive sites for writers I've ever seen. Christina and her columnists gently guide and lead with tools and insights to help you along your writing career. Christina knows her stuff! "Writer Mama" now in its second year of publication, is a definite must have for every writer, whether you have kids or not. Papas, this one's for you too! Let's read to hear what Christina has to say about the road to publication.

The Writer Mama Two-Year Anniversary Blog Tour Giveaway! Post #10
I delivered my completed book proposal to Jane Friedman about three weeks after the Willamette Writers Conference. She took my proposal and used it as the basis for a form of her own: The Project Information Sheet. I can’t tell you what’s in a project information sheet because that content is not mine to share. But I can tell you that the information in the Project Information Sheet plus the projected sales calculations for your book determine whether or not your book gets though whatever publication board process goes on at your targeted publisher. And if your agent doesn’t think that your book proposal will get through the publisher’s board process, then she likely won’t pitch it there.

In other words, you can’t write a saleable book proposal without solid numbers that prove a need for the book and a solid platform and marketing plan to show that you can and will attract readers. If you don’t have these or are not willing to get the info or develop the platform to support a book in the marketplace you might wish to find better ways to invest your writing time than working on a book proposal because in today’s tricky economic market, your book needs to be a sure sell.

The days when publishers would throw authors and their book ideas against the marketplace to see if they would “stick” are pretty much over. As far as I’m concerned this is a good thing because it only led to over-publishing and too many first time authors seeing their books go into print and out of print just as quickly.

Fact is publishers are no longer willing to waste resources to put content in book form unless there is a proven need for that content in book form. From here on out, only a sure-sell will succeed. And very likely those sure sells will lend themselves to multiple formats including e-books.

This means the onus is on authors to prove the need, find the niche, and be the best person to write a book with a solid platform underneath them and the willingness to promote yourself once your book is available in multiple formats.

Be ready to launch your book into the new age of publishing, mamas, because we have already entered it.

Today's Book Drawing: To enter to win a signed, numbered copy of Writer Mama, answer the following question in this blog's comments:

How familiar are you with the way the book publishing industry works? How many authors do you know or take classes from or call on as mentors? Who can you call on to help you navigate the constantly shifting tides of the publishing biz? If not yet, when will be a good time to start?

Thanks for participating! Only US residents, or folks with a US mailing address can participate in the drawing. Please only enter once per day.

Where will the drawing be tomorrow? Visit http://thewritermama.wordpress.com/ to continue reading the rest of the Writer Mama story throughout March 2009!

Age Old Wisdom

2009-03-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a great weekend. They go by way too fast don't they?
Since my birthday was yesterday, thought I'd share some of the more interesting if albeit innocent comments my youngest daughter has said in the past regarding my age, with my own tongue in cheek remarks.

We were at a Starbuck's once, and I mentioned to her that I used to work at one in college.
She then asked : "Did you have to wear roller skates?"
At first I was a bit puzzled, then it hit me that she was referring to those old 50's diners and just innocently assumed I was even ALIVE back then. Aren't you just darling?

On another occasion, she said: "Mom, you look like you're about grandma's age, but only in the mornings." OK, last night was Ladies Night sweetie, so give mommy a break.

And of course the ever popular: "Mom, was everything in black and white when you were a kid?" No, honey, but like Dorothy, I too am so grateful for Technicolor!

But I do love this. She got me a card, with a big Great Dane dog like Marmaduke on the front. It reads:

"You've reached that interesting age

Old enough to know better

but young enough

to keep on trying!"

Ain't that the truth!

And, if you're a writer or have writer friends, be sure to come back tomorrow for my very first give away!!

A Peaceful Moment

2009-03-05T21:09:00.000-08:00

Is this not the most perfect excuse you've ever seen for not folding clothes?? Good thing they were just laundered.
He does have his own toddler bed, by the way. Must've been that fabric softener I used!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Blog Love

2009-03-05T10:25:00.001-08:00

I love this blogging thing. Don't you? I've made some really nice friends, and met very incredible and talented folks out there. Wow. I wonder if God (the Universe, Allah...insert your favorite Diety here) is smiling down at what He sees. People coming together, sharing ideas, asking for and receiving help. Yes, there is still that root of internet evil, the Spamster (or 'Satan' for our religious analogy purposes) but for the most part, my experiences have been very positive. I hope yours have too.

I just love the idea of 'inclusivity' as opposed to 'exclusivity.' In fact, this was one of President Obama's strengths that spoke directly to my heart, and apparently many of yours as well. And I think blogs, and of course the internet are an excellent way of spreading the word, promoting your cause, and helping others out. So, in that spirit, I wanted to tell you all a little something about this amazing blogger and 'friend' named Jessica Bern.

If you click over to the right on my blogroll, that will take you directly to her webpage. She has a series, people. A very funny, professionally made video series complete with catchy music that is sure to delight and surprise you. Not only does she act in it, but she wrote it. All of them! I've seen two, and plan on seeing more as soon as my son stops pushing the power button two minutes into it.

Then of course there's her blog, which I find myself stalking all the time. But I leave her comments so its not really stalking, but you know what I mean. She's funny. Period. And if you like funny, like me, give her a look. I know she'd appreciate it.

And isn't this what its all about? In the words of Troy and company in that soon to be all American classic every parent knows so well "High School Musical," (and if you're not a parent yet, hold onto your seat):

"We're all in this together!"

My Girl

2009-03-04T07:54:00.000-08:00

Today is the third day in a row I'm posting. That usually never happens, I'm only a three post per week at best kind of gal but I just have to give a shout out to my girl, my daughter.

She's turning 15 today. Of course, I still remember the blessed event like it was yesterday.

It was horrible. I had to be induced, seven days late!! Now, having been through it a number of times, I know better. But with the first, I completely trusted the doctors, assuming they knew better, and didn't advocate as much as I should've. They should've never let me go that long past my due date. Anyway, they hung pitocin for like, 800 years. Or so it felt. Very very painful ordeal. After seven long hours I finally reached 4 and they were able to give me an epidural. It was heavenly. Then it got hellish.

She went into distress, collapsed a lung, they did an emergency C section, they let me look at her for about one second, then whisked her off to NICU. I've never prayed so hard in my life. Through the plexiglass, and through my tears, I could see her mangled little body, tubes protruding from seemingly uncomfortable places. They hadn't bathed her yet and she looked grungy. Her hair was matted to her head like a little helmet, but that was my little baby there and my love was so big, I thought my chest would burst. I cried some more. But her eyes, they showed hope. They were open, blinking, and as alert as any adult's. It's like she knew me, and when she saw me, I swear they could've lit up the night. Four days later, I got to go home, with her in myarms.

Now, she just rolls her eyes at me when I nag her to wear her raincoat, stop teasing her little sister, or turn off the wii. She's a good kid though, and I've never been more proud.

She's come a long way since that first day she made her dramatic entrance into this world. She can still be dramatic, but whether she's tackling the lead role onstage, pulling a 3.4 GPA, hanging out with friends, or running the 400 in track, she'll always and forever be my girl.

Happy Birthday Livvy!!

Ding Dong: Nasty-Gram!

2009-03-03T12:14:00.001-08:00

As one takes greater strides and risks in their life, professional or personal, there's bound to be opposition or resistance. The word resistance to me always brings up the image of stubborn cellulite that refuses to budge. I've been working out for awhile now and I can attest to how truly stubborn that bulge can be. But before you put down that cupcake, this post isn't about recalcitrant fat on tummies, hip, or bums. So, eat way.

A writing friend of mine just had an experience which got me thinking.
As writers, as a lot of us are, we share our points of view and our experiences, hoping to strike a chord with our readers; maybe draw them in with our poetic prose, lively humor, or winsome dialogues. It's our contribution, and for me, a way of saying, "I'm here." And as we continue to write and become more visible, more people read our work. Sometimes they like what they read and let us know.

But sometimes they don't; they let us know that too. Sometimes it's in the form of what is termed 'constructive criticism,' which basically means, the criticism is CONSTRUCTIVE. You can diasgree with someone yet still be be positive and add something valuable. When done so the points are well taken, everyone learns something, and all is well in bloggyland.

But all too often it's not constructive at all but unpleasant altogether. You almost feel the claws coming out: "REER-EERR!"

OK, that was a bad cat sound.

Susan Shapiro wrote "If your goal is to be nice, write a cookbook." She said this (plus a lot more) in regards to writing personal narratives, but I think it applies to other forms of writing as well. There's always going to be a critic and we're not going to make everyone happy with our writing or other talents all the time. There's always someone somewhere who thinks they could've written it better, sang it louder, and outperformed that scene. And often they're all too eager to tell you about it.

Personally, I love getting feedback and engaging in lively discission, even if the points are disagreeable. I try to keep an open mind and a learner's spirit.

But when it's nasty, combative or arugmentative, then my inner 'gangsta chic' wants to shout "Say it to my face!" That takes care of that.

Seriously, I don't do that. I usually call my cousin Chewy and he and his friends arrange a little midnight rendezvous to handle it.

OK, don't do that either.

I just drop it and move on. Too many words to be written to expend precious energy on any form of negativity.

Have you ever wondered how you would feel if someone insulted your work?
As tomorrow's future writers, it may be a question worth considering.

And if anyone leaves any nasty-grams, just know... Chewy's but a phone call away...

Happy Bday Ted Giesel!

2009-03-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

As you may alreadyknow, today March 2, is Dr. Seuss' birthday. He would've been 105, but something tells me if he were alive, he would've still had the heart and imagination of a child! I just adore Dr. Seuss. Who doesn't? I think what would've been so cool to see would've been an MRI brain image as he actually penned the stanzas to "One Fish Two Fish" or "The Foot Book," or everyone's favorite "Green Eggs and Ham." I imagine that image all aglow, making use of both brain hemispheres magnificently. What a truly creative mind he had!

If you've got kids, they've probably been collecting th whole library of Dr. Seuss books since they emerged from the womb. I know we have quite a few, most of the pages a bit worn by now. But what I find interesting, is that when Laptop and I were dating, I gave him "Oh the Places You'll Go" as a birthday present. And we were nowhere near kids. His appeal was to everyone, with or without kids, young and old.

I love stories like "The Waiting Place," or the aforementioned titles. But my favorite is "The Lorax." We also have it on videao, and every time I watch it, I'm moved. If you've never seen it, you owe it to yourself and to your kids to watch it. And especially in the culture we live in today, it is a timely message.

And since it is his birthday, I will graciously eat lots of birthday cake today in his honor, like a good fan should.

Very Abbrev. Post

2009-02-27T14:09:00.001-08:00

Thanks to all of you who have alerted me to my follower status. See, though I do see it on my dashboard, I still can't click on mine nor on anyone else's either, which is so unfortunate as I've found some other very cool blogs I wanted to follow. You know how that goes. I will have Laptop look at this more closely tonight. Of course he's going to fix the problem right away and say something like, "Geez, Helen Keller could've seen what the problem was." At which point I will hurl my hot iron skillet directly at his forehead. We have a loving relationship like that.

And with that I'm off to take Little Guy to the doctor. He's got a smoker's cough worse than your Aunt Mabel's, except its not from smoking. Hope its nothing serious, but he's been clinging to my cankles all morning long.

I really don't have cankles.

But I did want to ask you all something, as I've been pondering this very question myself.
"If you KNEW (operative word there) you couldn't fail, what would you do?"

I think I just heard a collective, 'Hmmm...."

Happy Friday!

Glitches, Gizmos, and Gadgets, Oh My!!

2009-02-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess that whole Blogger integration brouhaha caught up with me too. At first, I'd heard about how it was affecting the other blogs, and waited nervously to see how and when it would come to me. And it has, in FULL G-5Twister/Hurricane/Where-Are-My-Stilletos??-like force.

Not only do I not have any more followers, I can't seem to follow others either. My gizmos and gadgets seem to be whacko too. Very strange. I shall have to wait this out, stay patient, and see how they deal with it. As soon as they fix the glitch, I will follow and I hope you will consider following again. In the meantime, thought I'd share this pearl of wisdom with everyone who's reading.

A great benefit of having a messy house, refrigerator, toaster oven (insert appliance)- is that when it is FINALLY cleaned, you get that "It's Like Almost New" sensation. You even start to think it could wind up on the cover of "House Beautiful,' or on Kenmore's shiny brochures. Why, just this morning, while reaching for my Hazelnut coffee creamer, my glass shelves in the fridge glistened and shone so brightly. I cleaned and scrubbed out that thing last Saturday, and its still miraculously clean! Of course I've threatened dismemberment, or at least revoking the texting feature on the kids cell phones, and its worked. Now had it not gotten messy and crumb-y in the first place, I'd have never had that feeling. See, cleanliness isn't all its cracked up to be sometimes. Always a silver lining to any of life's woes, right? Right on!

Now, in between juggling everything else, I'm just waiting for it to get messy and dirty again. Because I don't know about you, but a new appliance is not on the horizon for me, but I will gladly take the 'sensation' of a new appliance any day!

An Ode

2009-02-24T19:41:00.000-08:00

Ode to A Wife's Lament

best if imagined being read by Morgan Freeman with cheesy violin music playing in the background

Dear Laptop,

You know how much I appreciate

Your hard work for us

To keep food at our table,

A roof over our heads,

And clothes on our back.

We, me,

Are so very thankful.

But, I wonder,

Would it kill you

To get home early

For once?

Because frankly,

Its killing me.

See, honey,

When WWIII is erupting

In the form of our teenaged daughters

Fighting in the family room

Over that damned Guitar Hero,

Son is systematically

Dumping the potpourri and pencil shavings

On our once nice white carpet,

While I'm attempting

To fix a nutritous-ish meal

Of hashed browns

And 'Shake and Bake,'

And I call you

Voice shaking,

Nerves frayed,

On the cusp of despair,

To ask if you will be home soon

And you answer quite obliviously,

"Why? What do you need?"

I tend to lose my mind.

Unless you were on the phone

With the Egyptian Prime Minister, or

The President of China,

Please get home NOW.

And as always, get home safely

So I can kill you personally

When you get here.

Your tired wife.

Never Give Up!

2009-02-23T09:09:00.000-08:00

Greetings.

I had all but planned to post this lovely morning on NEVER EVER letting your thirteen year old, no matter how much s/he begs and pleads til they're blue in the face, to let her crack the eggs for that delicious omelet you were so intent on making. That is, unless you like the crunchy sensation in your mouth usually reserved for when eating chips or crackers, and not eggshells. Consider yourselves warned.

What I felt compelled however to write about was the distressing feelings I've had lately surrounding all the news going on in the publishing industry. If established known authors/writers are getting their work yanked out from under their noses, what does that mean for us small fries? If assignments, articles, and work is being given to those with clips and credits a mile long, and not the measly two or three like me, what indeed does this mean for us? Unless you're a celebrity ready to push the next big thing of 'Detox for your Cat', do writers like us even stand a chance?? And is it even worth pursuing?

I love writing. I can't not write. Its a creative outlet for me; vacuuming the crumbs in the car is not. It' like a jolt of energy when I write, even if its the most piddly thing, like a lunch note; let's call it a character flaw and move on.

I never really wanted to make a living out of this. I was very content to let Laptop work his finger to the bone! (he's a very good sport). But then, you know how you get that annoying nudge, that nuisance inner prompting, saying something like "Go for it!" and "Heck, why not try!!" Its called idiocy by the way, because all you get is DISAPPOINTMENT!!! and REJECTIONS!!!

Sorry for that outburst. Does anyone out there with kiddos ever struggle with this double standard? Where you encourage your kids to try again, to never give up, to reach for the stars and believe they can fly? But then for yourself, you get down in the dumps, reach for the wine, and play spider solitaire on a Friday night to console feelings of inadequacy??? Just because I'VE never done that, doesn't mean I'm not weak enough to try it sometime. (wink wink).

The truth is the world does need writers. So whether you are scared, morose, suicidal- just know these feelings can actually serve as mere impetus for producing great feats of literature. Hemingway. Woolf. Plath. OK, not the best examples. But even though their lives ended tragically, you and I are different. Right? Right.

We've at least got blogs that need updating! FaceBook accounts that need checking! And Twitter that needs twittering! note to self: start Twittering soon.

And each other and our families to help us get through the dark times.

Si se puede! Yes we can!

Sing It, Baby

2009-02-20T10:27:00.000-08:00

At a restaurant last night, surrounded on all sides by folks without children, let alone highly errant and loud toddlers, my 3 yr. old son starts spontaneously singing in ear piercing tone,

"Chake yo bawty, chake it, chake, chake, chake..."

A few thoughts came to mind as I stifled my laugh, and my hand went to his clamp his mouth shut.

First off, whatever happened to being relegated to the kids-only-and-their-poor-suffering-parents section of the restaurant? You know the one, somewhere between the restrooms and the rear exit? The one with young ones banging their sippy cups and practically stabbing their parents in the eye with the sharp silverware the waitstaff conveniently forgot to replace? I'm not sure why Sarah the waitress decided to seat us in the more civilized section. She should know, as all waiters should, that the likelihood of other patrons enjoying a meal while seated within earshot of toddlers singing provocative lyrics is as probable as an ice storm in hell. Its all Sarah's fault their dinners were ruined.

Second, that's what I get for guilting out Laptop to take us out to dinner. True he missed Valentine's Day due to an unforeseen engagement, I was too exhausted from playing the Wii to cook anything, and we are smack dab in the middle of a recession/depression as I type. Guilting out loved ones to get what I want is a major character flaw I recognize, but I'll do almost anything to get out of making dinner on a weeknight. Or anytime, for that matter. We did all share entrees though.

Thirdly, where did this boy get this from???

Ah, yes. Older sisters who've been channeling American Idol contestants for the past ten years will leave lasting effects, even on the dead.

They say greatness happens spontaneously. Hopefully, these kids of mine will get along further than I ever did.

Enjoy the weekend, blogging warriors!

Extra, Extra, Read All About It!

2009-02-17T22:16:00.001-08:00

I think it may be a sign of early onset senility setting in. Or perhaps its a last ditch effort to try to realize one of my whacked out dreams of yore. Or maybe its just that in this economy, desperate times call for desperate measures. I did something today, and I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I find it both rather exhilarating and a little bit disturbing.

I signed up to be an extra.

In my defense, daughter is an aspiring actress and asked me to sign her up, but being a minor, I had to create an account myself in order to do so. And as I was doing so, creating said account, visions of me in a movie or on TV danced cruelly in my head, taunting, teasing, exhorting me to go for it, that I had nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain. So I signed myself up too.

In all likelihood, I will not somehow be cast serendipitously alongside Johnny Depp or George Clooney. I will not get to work alongside Gus Van Sant or other local talented directors. I will also probably not be fortuitously 'discovered' while portraying a bystander gnawing on a drumstick, or 'opening' a money market account at a bank, or even just walking by in the far far distant background.

The truth of it is that I MIGHT, if I'm lucky, even get a call at all. And that call will probably require nothing more than me dressing up as an ape in a local 'Bob Lamphere's Auto Dealership' commercial that may or may not air at 3am. PCT. If I'm really lucky, I may get to play a grunting McNugget or food of some kind. If I'm lucky.

Which is actually OK with me. I'm not the front and center sort of person, let alone actress anyway.

Realistically, I do feel sort of silly signing up for this, but as with most things I find silly in life, I laugh it off. And write posts about it! I think it would be great experience for my daughter should she ever get to participate. But me? I don't really care. It is interesting though, scanning the website, looking at the members. Young, old (like dear granny old!), in between, black, white, Latino, Asian, chubby, skinny, pretty, not so pretty. The descriptions go on and on. I don't know why others have done it. Some maybe need the extra cash. Some might just want the experience. Some are really actors, like my daughter. I tell myself I did it for her.

Or did I? Maybe there is some flicker of hope burning deep within the corner of my heart's desire. Maybe there is still this fantasy I haven't quite buried yet. I, like I'm sure many others, cradled my hairbrush like a trophy and practiced my Oscar acceptance speech incessantly when I was 11. I wonder if that young girl is still alive and rearing her head saying 'I'm here, I'm still here!!'

Not trying to bust her bubble, but I'm not holding my breath. But on the off chance that you're reading this- casting agency people- if you need a monkey howling or food grunting extra, I'm your gal! I will not be a camera hog and I take direction very well.

Call me!!

V Day Post (sort of)

2009-02-13T14:08:00.000-08:00

Feeling rather discombobulated today. Fun to say, not fun to feel.

Death will do that to a person sometimes. My husband's Aunt Madelyn passed of cancer on Tuesday, just four days before Valentine's Day. She was 62.

I like it but 'm not a big Valentine's Day person. I wonder if Aunt Maddy was.

The school makes V- Day out to be some sort of national holiday with all the celebrating they do over this day. I got the email for the one-hour-long party months in advance, all in anticipation for today, and some of the parents have been there all week long, cutting out, pasting, and hanging hearts in pretty lace, gearing up for the big day. It is one of the BIG parties, fo shizzel. I don't necessarily have an issue with this but it makes me wonder. Why doesn't April Fools Day get any recognition? I guarantee, all the kids would be all over that one. I think they should celebrate that day like crazy over there and let the kids get it out of their system, so we parents don't have to deal with all the whoopee cushion jokes at home. I can just see the email now:

Dear Parents,

for our April Fools Day party, we need at least, uh, ALL of you to help stage pranks all around the classroom. We need games, preferably of the dangling carrot kind. Won't that be fun, fooling the kids like that? We will also need crafts and games involving pretend vomit and poop, a hundred and one Whoopee Cushions tucked into various indiscriminate locations throughout, and April Fools Day 'mudcakes' that actually look and taste like real mud! It will be a blast! (And if you think this is coming out of PTO funds, think again). Happy April Fool's Day!!!"

At home, things are a bit simpler. The kids get cards that reiterate my love for them, along with cute socks, decorative headbands, a roaring dinosaur for the boy. Nothing over the top. Laptop gets a card too, and a big ol smooch. Since I've been working out and lost three whole pounds (any pound loss is reason to celebrate!), this year I seriously contemplated ditching my trusty worn Rose Bowl 'Go Badgers' souvenir t-shirt turned nightie from 1994, and slipping into something Victoria might wear-if she were real- for tomorrow night. But in light of the sad news, and with Laptop in Wisconsin for the memorial (and I sure don't need to fantasize over myself), I will just slip into my comfy old tee and sip my Chamomile. And after all the crying this week, I'll read David Sedaris and laugh until I pee in my pajama pants, then fall into a peaceful slumber in my big empty bed, knowing she's looking down at us from her new Home.

But I digress. Like I said, discombobulated.

Aunt Madelyn held on for as long as she could. She was so strong, and determined to beat this thing. She died hopeful, with dignity, and dearly loved. A magnanimous ending to a life fully cherished and exquisitely lived. She will be sorely missed.

Wishing Aunt Maddy and all of you a happy Valentine's Day.

The Power of Suggestion

2009-02-11T11:21:00.000-08:00

Now I'm not one to toot my own horn or anything like that. But I just read something this morning in The Huffington Post that sent chills down my spine a little.
In a previous post, I mentioned that Salma Hayek has a rocking body, and since being soooo well endowed, she might consider using those God given endowments (they are natural, right?) in a way that would benefit those less fortunate. I give you now, Salma, a great humanitarian it would seem. http://http//www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/10/salma-hayek-breastfeeds-a_n_165676.html. (I was hoping to get the video directly on here, but not so techinically gifted that way. Sorry.) Honestly, I think it wonderful that she cared enough to do that.
It would seem that I have been given a gift, the gift of making suggestions in the spirit of cooperation, well being, and service; and somehow the Universe with it's Infinite Possibility was able to make it happen. Since I'm a firm believer in sharing the wealth, cookies, wine, gifts, I've managed to come up with other 'services' celebrities might lend their talents too, as well as a few personal wishes of my own.
For one thing, money. Like I wrote previously, a lot of folks are hurting in this economy. I say, why not each and every one of them, please consider becoming personal private banks, a la the Bank of Uma, or the Bank of Beyonce. You guys are so famous the paperwork should be a minimal formality. I mean if you can get adoption papers through in record time while the average couple has to endure years and years of red tape, this should be a breeze. Between all of your pooled resources, we should be able to snap out of this recession and put people back to work in no time.
Madonna. I think she might consider using her, ahem, rather developed muscular arms and help out poor Angelina tote her luggage and kids around when Brad's on location or something. Madge could easily carry two kids in each arm, leaving Angie with one in each. I love Angie to death, but her arms look so skinny I think she could really use the help.
Nadya Suleman. I don't know what Nadya was thinking or what her doctor's were smoking, but clearly this woman is way in over her head. While this story is another topic for another post, I think she should consider giving away at least three of those kids to say, Jennifer Aniston. I like Jen as much as anyone else and I think she'd make a great mother, don't you? She's more than financially independent, and she hangs out with Courtney Cox who could give her a boatload of mothering advice. I hope and pray Nadya gets all the help she can get, but I think it would sure be nice to see Jen play a mom in real life.
Finally, Bernie Madoff. I'd like for the ghost of a very troubled soul to haunt this man incessantly and repeatedly until he finally gets a conscience and repents of his ways.
What's the moral of this post? If you never 'put it out there', you might never get your wish. So today, suggest or ask for something loud and audacious. You never know until you ask!

(For the record, I'm not holding my breath on that last one. Sigh.)

Responsibility Is A Hard Thing To Do

2009-02-09T13:34:00.000-08:00

This economy is hurting so many people. I feel very blessed that we haven't personally been affected, as far as job loss or savings loss. Laptop, as I affectionately call my hubby, is very acute at following the market, and took us out last May. Thank Heavens. We receive our monthly statements and had we stayed in, we'd be down 46%. It certainly doesn't mean we're living 'high on the hog' though, and have done some major tightening in light of the projected bleak financial forecast.

Olivia's choir is going on an Eastern European tour this summer, and it breaks my heart that she may not be going. We're trying desperately to figure out how to send her (anyone got 6k laying around out there? I'll buy dinner!). It would be such an incredible experience for her, and every inch of me wants to charge it, on the premise that this is a lifetime opportunity not to be missed. But Laptop is adamant that no more charging (we're practically credit card free), especially if we can't guarantee we can pay it off immediately. Can't say I blame him in this troubled economy. But try explaining that to a fourteen year old.

I also feel for those workers whose livelihoods depend on providing services to consumers. I'm talking about the landscaping/maintenance guy. Or the house cleaning lady. I used to have someone come in twice a month and help out, but in the interest of staying proactive, we let her go. I get knocks at my door regularly by some of these folks, walking in the cold rain, handing out their flyers for their services. I don't have the heart to tell them we can't use their services right now, so instead I say that I'll consider it for the future, which then leads me to thinking about the future and what that holds for us, for the country, the world.

Like I said, Laptop still has a good job, his company just went through some layoffs though. I could go back to work (assuming there is work out there in the dental field), but I can't earn half what he earns.

We have a few investments still worth something now, but who's to say in a year or two?

All is so unstable right now, hence, the zero charging tolerance rule.

This is good practice, right? We are being prudent, correct? This is what all the financial gurus out there tell us, right? "Live within your means."

Then why do I feel so guilty? Why do I feel so bad that we can't just send Liv to Romania? Why do I feel so awful that I had to let Socorro go? Why can't I hire Ramon's Cleaning Ltd. to clean my leave littered front yard? After all, these folks have families too.

Being responsible is a good and wise thing but it sure doesn't make being so any less painful.

Hot Dog Eat Hot Dog Third World

2009-02-06T09:47:00.000-08:00

"Live the caviar lifestyle on a hot dog budget," read the caption. Its allure was enough to make me run to cancel my subscriptions to "Cheapskate Magazine," "The Frugal Frau," and "Newspaper Burritos, Genuine Leather Burgers, and Other Thrifty Creative Meals in 2 Minutes Or Less." Not once since reading budget conscious magazines cover to cover have I felt like I was living the caviar lifestyle. Though I have eaten enough hot dogs to carry me into the next lifetime. Like most families out there, we've had to do some major cutbacks in this economy (I haven't had caviar now in over a week!) Call me desperate, but in these tough economic times, one would be a fool to pass up such tantalizing information, no?

I eagerly tore into the article and was all but ready to book some flights to one of the recommended destinations. But that little voice inside my head, you know, the one called 'I really don't want to die tragically cause I was a dumb ass' urged me to do a little research of my own. And uncovered a few things those glossies won't tell you.

So where can one live like this? In several places actually! True most are under developed third world countries with unstable economies, unstable social climates and little or no health care coverage (the more civilized developed nations are so expensive, you're pretty much required to give up your firstborn). But what a view! For example:

somewhere in Ecuador: meander through this picturesque resort town, taking in the breathtaking view of the Andes, all while living for under $20 a day! Just don't expect to find a nearby staffed medical facility should you happen to get bitten during the night by some rare and exotic poisonous bug
somewhere in Colombia: this town looks and smells like Madrid! But its not. And be prepared to fend for yourself as the police force here will laugh in your face hysterically as they watch along with you as your car gets vandalized. Car parts are a precious commodity here! (to serve and protect is not written in the contract)
somewhere in Cambodia: welcome to white sandy beaches, laid back friendliness, and turquoise waters! And while you're out enjoying the hot sun, rest assured that your kids are roasting in their ill equipped non air conditioned classrooms learning second grade math even though none of them are in second grade anymore

Maybe I'm being a bit facetious here, but I've got kids to worry about. While having maid service, eating caviar all day, basking in the sun 24/7, enjoying picturesque views of oceans, lakes, and mountainsides peppered with herding llamas for $20 a day are all lovely thoughts to contemplate, there is still the other side of the equation to consider. Namely, the survival side, and I feel that no 'paradise on earth' is worth risking life and limb over. Now, show me Prague on a shoestring budget and I'm all over that one!

We have actually considered moving abroad at some point. Giving our children firsthand experiences and exposure to different cultures and cuisines is something no textbook can ever give. But I wouldn't want to overshadow that by worrying about kidnappings, mob lynchings and such. Adolescence is tough enough! But if or when we do, I will have examined every shred of information available, in order to make an informed safe decision. I suggest you do likewise, that is if you're into the whole 'staying alive' safety sort of thing.

In the meantime, back to the hot dog budget lifestyle for moi. Newspaper burritos for dinner tonight? Yum!

High School For A Day? Not!

2009-01-27T12:04:00.000-08:00

"Yearn to go back to high school for a day? Wonder what the students are learning in school? Then join the dynamic teachers for a day of stimulating lectures!"

This is how my daughter's high school is billing their 'One Day High School' extravaganza, a daylong event (complete with a free lunch in the cafeteria!) where the parents get to go back to high school for one day. Personally, I can think of better ways to spend precious district funds (better cafeteria food for starters) but apparently the good folks over at the district must think this a far superior and novel idea. Now I'm all for supporting the community and education, but I'm just not warming up to this idea so well. Maybe it's because the first thing that popped into my head of going back to high school was the idea of regressing to my idiotic hormonal crazed shallow teen self in the hopes of 'getting some' at Robbie Breckners post football kegger. Not exactly screaming 'yearning' to me. Neither does the idea of rekindling those old warm fuzzy feelings of trying to fit in, social awkwardness, puberty and Clearasil scented perfume. Remember that?

These dynamic teachers would like to take the day to educate and enlighten us parents with lectures such as:

'Why the 19th century matters', because apparently the entire student body must not really think it does
'When will I use trigonometry', because don't know about you, but just about everyone I know uses trig on a daily basis, and
'What the kids do on a typical day', which by now most parents know is 'nothing'

Of course I could be horribly mistaken and my thoughts might rather be consumed with how utterly ancient it feels to walk down the hallways of her school. Or, and this one really hurts, no matter how much I think I am, how hopelessly uncool she thinks I am.

No matter that I listen to Kanye and not The Carpenters, though "Rainy Days and Mondays" always gets me [down].

No matter that I shop at Urban Outfitters, though I'm not a size 1 and have to lube myself with lard to make the clothes fit.

No mater that I'm on FaceBook which by the way, is not only uncool for parents, but downright mortifying to her.

After careful consideration, not only do I not yearn to go back to high school even for a second, I already know there will be ultimately no use for trig, calculus, or botany in the real world. Unless of course that real world involves working for NASA, where I'm pretty sure trig's the MINIMUM requirement. Luckily she wants to be an actress someday, and from the looks of some of these actresses, apparently NO brains are required (Tara Reid, anyone?) However I insist if she's going to become an actress she be a respected theater trained one with an education, like Meryl Streep. Olivia, my daughter, asked me the other day amidst painful anguish trying to solve a math equation, when the last time was that I actually used trig. And because I can lie so brilliantly, er I mean, am so smart, I successsfully diverted telling the truth by answering "I'm sure Meryl Streep's math skills come in especially handy when calculating her million dollar per movie earnings, honey," to which she replied "Mom, they have accountants for that." Duh. Smart cookie that one.

So I don't know that I'll be going. Tempting as it sounds, the lunch is sounding succulent by the minute, I think I'll skip it, and instead sing my heart out to "Rainy Days and Mondays" wearing my Urban Outfitters jeans. Tis a much better plan, no?

He's a Ladies Man

2009-01-19T11:22:00.000-08:00

My son is incredibly handsome for a three year old. I realize every mom thinks the same about their kid and I totally get that. But my son's a really good looking kid. He's been called a mini Ashton Kutcher (NO, he is not Ashton's baby; trust me, I would NOT be here if he were!), and the girls are chasing him already.

I had just dropped him off at his little daycare when cute four year old Katie ran up to him, gave him a hug, and tried to kiss him. Aidan did not return the affection, and instead slowly backed away, looking at her like she was some kind of alien specimen. I then said, a bit disconcertingly, "Oh, honey, she's trying to show you some love," turning my head 360 degrees like 'The Exorcist' looking for this girl's mommy.

I know it was cute, innocent, and as sweet as the cupcakes I devoured the night before, but I was, ahem, concerned. Call me controlling, weird. Lord knows I DO NOT want to be one of those monster mother in-laws someday but truthfully, I felt over protective at that moment. And had I not needed to run off to the gym to work off those cupcakes now so deeply implanted in my thighs, I'd have drilled that mom. Of course, it would have been a nice casual sort of drilling. For Katie to even stand a prayer with my son, I thought maliciously, I needed some answers to a few pressing questions:

what age was she potty trained?
when did she start talking? crawling? walking?
what was her first word? (hope it wasn't 'moron')
was colic involved in any way?

It's these things that make the future person, you know. Of course, I'm being uber-paranoid and silly, but this does not hide the fact that clearly I have some serious issues to work through. As I drove to the gym, I thought about it a lot. And I concluded that there will come a day when I will cease to be the Number 1 woman in my boy's life. And if I do my part and God does His, I will be ready to let go, trusting that my boy will choose wisely, not just with his 'bits n pieces', but with his whole brain, and not based on sole appearances, but on character. Hopefully he'll pick a loving and decent girl and they will make each other happy and what mother doesn't want her son to be happy. But if she's rotten then I will make her life a living hell because being the mother in-law entitles me and by that time my own mother in law and I will be on speaking terms and I will truly understand better. At that that point I just wanted more cupcakes just thinking about it. Actually, my MIL and I get along very well; she thinks her son chose very wisely. And no, I won't behave badly if it happens that we don't get along well. I will cross that bridge when I get to it with dignity (and alcohol). I hope.

I did the right thing and tortured myself mercilessly on the treadmill, washed up and by the time I was done it was time to pick up my son. When I got there, Aidan's teacher and Katie's mom were laughing and giggling. 'He's a cutie-pitootie!" she said. It would seem that little Ms. 'Cougar in-training' got her way with my son after all. I had just missed those two huggin and kissin and acting all lovey dovey with each other. I let out a muffled laugh, looked at my son who was now chasing Katie all over the room (and she running away, the little tease), and beheld the future: she'll tease, he'll bite eventually, then through dynamics and processes as confounding as astrophysics, he'll wind up the hunter, and I will have no choice but to let him hunt.

I admit, it was rather darling to see them running around enjoying their innocent and as yet uncomplicated friendship. Enjoy it now, for 'today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday' I reminded myself.

And with that, I casually invited Katie's mom to coffee, checklist in hand.

I've Been Tagged

2009-01-17T11:31:00.000-08:00

My buddy Mary Jo just tagged me with this. I need to come up with 10 honest but interesting facts about me then pass along to 7 other bloggers out there. I know many of you have done this already, so I'll just leave it up to you. If you want it, take it. Ok, onward.

I've always loved a live audience, and had my first 'performance' at the age of nine to thundering applause from fellow nine and ten year olds. It was actually my older sisters birthday party and she wasn't happy that I stole the show. Sorry sis.
I will gladly give you the shirt off my back if it means that much to you. Just buy me a drink, hehe.
On a whim, I flew to Europe at 21, in search of Adam Ant and Bono. Yep, I was a total groupie. Didn't meet either one, but did see the Queen leaving Buckingham Palace.
My hubby and I rode in a 150 mile bike ride through the picturesque Chicago suburbs to benefit MS foundation. My butt's never hurt so badly, but (no pun intended) all for a great cause.
While accepting an award at my 8th grade graduation breakfast, I fell on the stage in my one inch heels and cracked up. Since then, I've been mastering the art of laughing at myself.
I once served rockgod Stephen Tyler coffee at the Chicago Starbucks I worked at in college. I actually told him to 'walk this way' to get his drink. He left a nice $20 tip. I am a total dork.
I sat in an Oprah show taping once. It was about aging gracefully and Lauren Hutton was on. I remember thinking how short she looked in real life but very beautiful.
I went through a total hippie wannabe phase, wore tye died everything, took up guitar lessons, wore Peace necklaces, and smelled of patchouli oil. Good times.
I went to high school with Jill Soloway, writer for HBO's Six Feet Under and other cool stuff. I told her I liked her LeSportsac once in the girls bathroom. She said thanks.
I still believe in Santa Claus. Or at least that there is still good in the world.

Seeing Stars

2009-01-13T12:56:00.000-08:00

For the record, I never watch these kinds of things. I'm usually too busy wiping up snot or something to even bother. But it's not like I've never seen them before. I'm talking about these awards 'ceremonies cum who looked like hell' escapades. Occasionally, I'll watch the Oscars but the Golden Globes haven't garnered my attention as much. And given that I choose one major awards show to watch because, yes, too busy living in reality, I choose the Oscars. But last night, flipping through channels, I have to say, I couldn't turn away. I couldn't get myself to turn off the damn tv. And so I watched in horror, that fiasco that is Hollywood at its finest, the red carpet fashion police. Here are some of my favorites, along with my own personal POV.

Renee Zellweger. They all said we'd have nightmares after seeing her hideous butt ugly goth ensemble. Ugly as it was, I only woke up once in a sweat. And then I had another nightmare about our economy, the future, how Obama must be feeling. Hollywood assumes we're all so shallow.

Marisa Tomei. They all asked, "How does something like THIS happen?" I too wondered why she raided Capt. Jack Sparrow's closet, but cut the woman some slack already. Wasn't her performance in 'My Cousin Vinny' enough for you people?

Ann Hathaway. They said her look was overly dramatic. I just wondered if the poor girl has some serious Vitamin D deficiency. I also wondered if she's from the same Hathaway family as Warren Buffet's Berkshire-Hathaway.

Jennifer Lopez. They said her look was over the top. And???

Cameron Diaz. They said she should have at least gotten her roots done and given herself more than five minutes to dress before rushing out the door. Yea, Cameron. I'm pretty sure you could afford a nice touch up. Or haven't you ever heard of Nice N Easy?! And don't you have people practically falling all over themselves to dress you?

And finally...

Salma Hayek. They said Salma had a rockin body. I agree wholeheartedly. And I'm still pretty convinced that woman's breasts could produce enough milk to feed an entire nation of starving children. Come on, Salma. You could make a real difference.

All in all, I think they all looked 'maahvalous, daahhling,' and provided an amazing if awfully brief fantasy induced respite from my daily grind.

The Sequel That Will Never Be

2009-01-09T09:51:00.000-08:00

This was too cute to hoard all to myself.

Last night during dinner, I had this dialogue with my eight year old daughter.

ME: I can't wait to see the new Kate Winslet/Leo DiCaprio movie. They're so good together.
Daughter: What's the name of the new movie? Titanic 2?
ME (cracking up with laughter): Um, I really don't think they'll ever make a sequel for that one.

Enjoy the start to the weekend!!

Randomness...

2009-01-06T23:37:00.001-08:00

I don't have anything particular in mind to post, so this is just off the top of my head. Maybe you'll find it useful, probably not, but hang onto your seats. It could get ugly.

Already six days into the year and I've read my first of what I hope to be many many good books. It was Malcolm Gladwell's 'Outliers.' It took me two days, and had I not stopped for bathroom breaks and to sleep at night, it would've been one. It was very intriguing. OK, so basically he goes into the whole success shpiel and for me, it demystified the myths surrounding great athletes, business people, and why Asians are so good at math. He writes a whole chapter on that one. I found it a good read, and if you liked his other works, Blink, and The Tipping Point I think you'll enjoy this too. Now I'm reading 'Almost French,' and from what I've read so far, the French truly are a-holes...but I'd still love to live there someday. Que sera, sera...wait that's spanish..

OK, next off my noggin...I just got my New Connexions, the journal of conscious living here in Portland where every other store is called 'Healing' or 'Cosmic' or some very new age-ish sounding name. Not that I mind. I frequent these stores regularly. Anyway, if you're into numerology and astrological charts sort of thing, listen to this. The year 2009 is going to be a year of great world change. We already knew that as Obama is now poised to lead us into the promised land (no pressure, Barack.) But let's break down the numbers here, a la numerology.
2+0+0+9=11 and that #11 means a very high rebirthing energy not seen since the days of the Industrial revolution. In other words, a long time. So we have two choices. We could let the energy of 11 dominate our lives, or we could reduce it to 1+1=2 and let 2 dominate. Even I figured out that the higher the number the higher the energy frequency and the higher your service to mankind and the objective world. The lower is more focused on personal and subjective world. It's the more "I can't change the world but I can change the world in me," approach. There's no judgement in either one, you just have to choose which one will dominate your life this year. But you have to hurry, as Pluto is passing into Capricorn and the planets are lining up as I type. I don't know about you but I'm torn.
On the one hand, I would love to save the world and I've got a few things going for me. 1)I'm a woman, and 2)I'm a mama. I'm sure I could kick some serious booty. On the other, I admit I want to sometimes hunker down in Idaho somewhere, eat potato chips, and watch other women save the world on Oprah and shout "You Go Gurrrl!!"
I've settled on a combination of both. I've commited to better myself, while also making contributions to mankind. I think the two go hand in hand.
And nothing says contribution more than a lady-party which I'm going to this weekend. It's a friends milestone 50th! Well, better scoot off to Rite Aid to stock up on Tylenol PM which I'm sure will come in handy afterward. Seriously, if I'm not back by Monday, send the search party.
Enjoy yourselves!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2009-01-02T21:35:00.000-08:00

The presents have been opened, the ham is long gone, the snow has all but melted (sniff, sniff), and the effects of the bubbly are finally dissipating (thank you Lord).

The holidays are over. And quite frankly, I'm getting a little Linda Richmond here. Tawk amongst yoahselves.

I know those five long snow days that left me feeling like a prisoner of hell in my own home felt like nothing short of medieval torture at times.

I know my serious contemplation to buy myself a one-way ticket to Maui was callous, evil and selfish.

I know I said if I heard the word 'sledding' one more time I'd whack the nutcracker's head off and burn down the tree.

I say things I don't mean sometimes.

But the truth of it all is I loved the holidays. I loved spending time with the family idly and I'm going to miss it.

I'll miss those little buggers of mine who'll be back in school on Monday, with a boatload of homework no doubt.

I'll miss mine and hubby's special morning coffee quiet time before the house erupted with unruly children.

I'll miss my slacking off-cause-I-deserve-a-break days. I'm back to chauffeuring everyone to piano, choir, and dance.

Life is back to normal. I was really liking the abnormal.

Well, never fear my dear the New Years Resolutions are here! Like so many others, in order to cope with the holiday aftermath of too much idle time (and to endure the ungodly long and ghastly depressing months of Jan/Feb/Mar/ AND April, Lord help us), I've come up with a few of my own fantastically outrageous, utterly delusional, and entirely improbable yet cautiously optimistic resolutions.

Actually my husband, brilliant scholarly type that he is, suggested I call them Predictions. After all, he reminded me, it was he who predicted in the summer that the S&P would go down to 800. It's now at 750. He predicts it will get worse. He needs to shut up.

So here now, my 'predictions' for 2009:

I predict that I will take down my Christmas decorations sometime before 2010. On the other hand, I could choose to be super early for the holidays this year

I predict I will lose weight. No resolutions, er, predictions lists are complete without some mention of weight control.

I predict that I will write more. No matter the content, it could be horse shit. I just need to write.

I predict that I will get published more. Of course that depends on prediction above. Maybe a level or two above horse shit material.

I predict that I will ask for and get help when I need it. No need to be SuperMom this year. A few phone calls, as in "Socorro, could you squeeze me in this week?" and "Reservations for six please" are all it takes.

I predict my house will sparkle like the glistening snow for one 24-hour period per week.

OK, I'll settle for one hour. Unless of course, Socorro can squeeze me in.

I predict I might make you laugh at my predictions...just a little...a chuckle??

Here's to 2009 and to all your predictions coming true for you!

Tis The Season

2008-12-23T18:23:00.000-08:00

A lovely view of my backyard.

And now for your entertainment, I've written these lovely lyrics. Hopefully, I've managed to capture a bit of my current life experience. Go ahead, sing aloud if you'd like (I won't tell).

A Holiday Season to Remember (sung to the tune "Sleigh Ride")

Just hear those tire chains clanking, and cling cling clingling too
Lookout for that spun out car! Hope it doesn't hit me, don't you?

It's just become a nightmare to drive for me and for you
Tough nuts, cuz poor me still has a load of shopping to do

Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why oh why
Must somebody die
Before the city cleans up the ice
Tell me why tell me why tell me why oh why,
aw, just give me pie
to forget all about the hordes of people that make me want to cry

I'm off to the mall to pick up a gift or possibly ten
A Wii board, UgGs, a snowboard, and slippers for Sue and for Ben,

I hope I make it in one piece and no sweat,
This will be one Christmas that Portlanders will never forget!

Wishing you all the greatest of holiday cheer
Have A Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy New Year!!!

Every Picture Tells A Story

2008-12-18T21:42:00.000-08:00

Lindsay and her friend crusing along.

Uh, oh. This driver's definitely not from back east.

A side street of ice. My toes were freezing when
I snapped this.

Oops! Forgot to bring the patio furniture inside!

Now, my dear hubby is probably going to go ape because I'm posting pictures of the kids on the Internet (and if you squint real hard you might be able to make out thier faces). Sigh. He's absolutely convinced that some real psycho out there is going to hack our system and retrieve all of our sensitive information (if you call my rants sensitive), then come looking for us because s/he will ubdoubtedly be able to trace us to our home and bludgeon us in the middle of the night (I just love thinking like Stephen King). What is it about some men who think blogging and sharing a few details is as dangerous as trying to smuggle Colombian cocaine into JFK? Or that divulging any kind of information is as scandalous as a Britney night on the town? It's not like that, I tell him. Most bloggers are nice people with families or kids of their own to raise and great stories to share. I appreciate his concern for our safety though, and to assuage his fears, I try to be discreet.
But I wanted to give you, dear reader who doesn't live in Portland, a sense of what sort of weather we've had. And what's kept the schools closed for the past four days and driven me personally insane, more insane than usual. How much sledding can one do in four days? A lot it turns out. It's begun to rain as I write though, and the snow's practically all melted. It was beautiful but a week too early; so much for a white Christmas. On the upside, kiddos are back at school tomorrow. One has to wonder how much they will try to cover one day before the regularly scheduled winter break, though. Poor kids.
Ho Ho Ho...

Snow Daze!!!

2008-12-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

It's going on three full days of no school/snow days for us. If now isn't a good time to become a raging alcoholic, I don't know when is. If I hear one more 'I'm soooo bored' or have to break up one more fight between these kids of mine, I'm bound to do something I will inevitably regret, like inflict serious bodily harm on myself. Or cook our bunny. Poor innocent creature. Seriously though, it's going to be me or the bunny.
Why doesn't the city throw some salt on the roads already and get this crisis over with? Mutated salmon, polluted rivers, toxic streams- big deal! Canada gets a trillion times more snow than we do and its salmon is fantastic! I mean, have you had Canadian salmon? The only reason I got sick last time I ate some was because...hmm, don't recall. Anyway, those brochures I have stashed away for a get away to Lake Louise can't all be photo shopped. Those lakes look absolutely pristine! And they dump de-icing and salt by the shitload up there. I honestly don't believe a little salt is going to cause catotrosphic environmental degeneration here. It's not like we get hit with snow and ice every year. Just saying. (please see previous post for full explanation).
Well, because I care so much, I've come up with six ways to survive the long days for parents and caregivers like myself who find themselves mentally exhausted right about now.
Why six? Six is all one needs really (top ten lists are soo over rated).
6. Start drinking as early as possible. A little alcohol with morning coffee is excellent. I find this early morning drinking drastically reduces the crankiness that's sure to follow after breaking up the 75th fight before 10am. The genius is that, after several cups of "coffee", instead of playing referee, you actually become a spectator in the fight, cheer aloud, and egg the kids on. This always manages to freak them out to the point that they just stop fighting on their own. Voila!
5. Start eating sugar as early as possible. While the sugar crash that follows is not pretty in any shape, way, or form, iced sugar cookies, truffles, and those chocolates from the kids Advent calendars are just too damn good to even care. If all those happen to be gone, go ahead and dig into the Gingerbread House, so lovingly created in happier times, ie, before the third snow day.
4. Medicate. If you're not on any already, now's the perfect time to start. Ask your doctor to make an exception and phone in a prescription for Valium, Xanax, or Librium- take your pick. Tell doc you are suffering from severe S.A.D and need the prescription in order to survive the gloomy days. Do not mention that you are drinking alcohol at this time (besides, this is just a temporary fix, not like its addicting or anything.)
3. Tell kids you need to go to the post office to ship a few things. DO NOT bring them with you no matter how much they plea. Instead rendezvous with a few girlfriends, then enjoy lunch and cocktails. IN PEACE. If kids ask what took so long, say the lines were friggin unbelievable.
2. Scatter your kids all over town at their friends houses. When the parents ask why you didn't pick up the kids, feign memory loss or miscommunication. Watch 'The E True Hollywood Story Where Are They Now' episode (you've always wondered whatever happened to Rerun from What's Happening anyway).
1. Threaten to take away unlimited texting from their cell phones the next time a fight breaks out. REALLY REALLY mean it this time.
If all else fails, take the kids sledding. I guarantee, you'll all have a jolly good time!

It's Snow Time!

2008-12-13T10:52:00.000-08:00

The greater Portland metro area is bracing itself for the BIG storm headed our way this weekend. A whopping dangerous perilous life and limb threatening 3-4 (maybe its only 1-2, depends on the elevation) inches of snow expected, much of it expected to stick. Mostly on rooftops and lawns. Sigh.
I know I'm being a total smart ass but I can't help myself. I lived in Chicago and prior to that New Jersey for most of my life where inclement weather was as common as dirty politicians, except the snow always melted. If only corrupt government would melt away as easily. Or at least get peed on by dogs. Nothing like yellow snow that's been pissed on by dogs.
I remember drivers passing me by on the Eisenhower at close to 80 mph in near white out conditions, then having the nerve to honk at me for driving slowly with my hazard lights on. Clearly, icey roads are no reason to slow down for those folks. And why should it be? Chicagoans and East coasters practically pride themselves on being able to drive in blizzards and generally move on with life despite what Mother Nature throws at them. Not so in Portland because NO. ONE. IS GOING. ANYWHERE. Every engagment will most likely be cancelled, including school.
So last night at the grocery store, the big talk in the checkout line was about getting prepared for the weekend.
"Did you stock up on water?" (I stocked up on diapers and wine. Chocolate too.)
"How are you guys holding up?" (Because this is like a funeral and someone is sure to die.)
"Make sure you let everyone know how to reach you." (Just in case you get lost in the snow trying to make it down the driveway to get your mail.)
People, it's inches of snow, not feet.
The ice does pose a bit of a problem, I've ascertained. The sand allowed by the city does not seem to help, which is probably the reason God made sand for building sand castles ON THE BEACH. Salt isn't allowed which corrodes the roads and bleeds into the streams and rivers and Oregon is all about clean streams and rivers. And saving as many trees as possible. Valid points in general, although being holed up in the house for days on end with four ridiculously bored children does not make for happy holidays (hence the wine and chocolate).
All in all, its just good fun seeing the folks here react to the snowy weather. And it does make for killer powder on the mountain where we might be. If we don't die on the way.
Just in case I get lost in my own backyard, though, Ill leave my number: 503...
Joking.
Enjoy your weekend!

BANNED!

2008-12-11T18:35:00.000-08:00

That's what I got for trying to show some bloggerly love to someones blog. Little Ol' me.

I usually don't comment on this particular blog but found the last few posts there interesting so I made some comments that were initially accepted. Generally, I will read a blog a few times first to get a feel for it then comment accordingly if I feel I have something to say. If its a humor blog, I generally respond in kind, if its more serious, well you get the picture. Hers seemed to be a mix. I found it through a few comedy/humor blogs I visit (cause who doesn't like a good humor blog!) and found some of her comments funny, so adding two plus two I figured she'd appreciate witty comments, which is also how I usually comment anyway. There weren't many comments either, and I assumed she'd appreciate it. I know I do. Well I'm not sure what happened or what she was thinking, perhaps she thought I was stalking her (I already stalk other blogs. Joking.) If perchance you're reading this (and you know who you are): I didn't mean to offend. You also don't' have to worry about me visiting again, so you can disable your moderate comments feature if you'd like. Peace.

Its a funny thing this whole blogging world. I'm still fairly new to it. I've heard of cyber bullying and spamming, things like that. I'm pretty sure Britney Spears has been banned from lots of things, so I guess I'm in good company :)

But maybe I need to pick my choice of blogs to comment on more carefully next time.

Are there any strange occurrences you've experienced in this wonderful world known as the 'blogosphere'?

Sad Day in Illinois

2008-12-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

Wow. Just when you think politicians can't get any lower, Rod Blagojevich goes and proves it can be done. Having spent most of my life in Illinois- Chicagoland- I am feeling for the citizens there. First the whole scandal with George Ryan, now this. Knowing that your direct leadership are corrupt to the core has got to feel like a slap in the face for those folks. It's just one string of corruption after another.

Apparently, Blagojevich had expressed feeling 'stuck' in his role as governor. He was allegedly trying to 'sell' the Senate seat left vacant by president-elect Obama, among a myriad of other charges. Read all about it here.

Obama himself has called it a 'sad day for Illinois.'

Indeed.

Memorable Mother/Daughter Moment

2008-12-07T22:13:00.000-08:00

Bad parent award time. My daughter puked on the living room rug early Sunday morning. When she walked into our bedroom at 5am with tears in her eyes and her voice cracking announcing that she'd just thrown up, of course my first concerned parent reaction was to say sleepily 'Aw, honey are you alright?'
Then my husband, ever the pereptive one, asked 'Where?' When she said on the rug, well that was when I lost it. I sprang out of that warm comfy cozy bed so fast, you'd a thought the house was on fire. Let me back up here a litttle.
The living room is probably my most favorite room more than any other room in our house for no other reason other than, quite simply, I've invested a lot of time and a ton of energy fixing it up. It's this room which I have managed to pull together quite nicely and on a very limited budget. It's been a work in progress for almost three years now, choosing the right paint color alone took nine months! (the color kept changing in different light.) Antiques, thrift store finds, flea market treasures- they all somehow found their home there. I know some women (my sister. Hi Ri.) have a 'room off limits' policy or hide their treasures to prevent them from breaking. I don't (but maybe I should now). Anyone's allowed in there as long as they're careful.
From day one I've been training those kids to treat that room like they would their cell phones with unlimited texting, in other words: respect the holy room and for the most part they have. Aside from food crumbs and a few dirty socks lying around, few things have been broken. We tend to congregate in there more than anywhere else to play games, watch movies, and hang out, even more than the family room. I know it's because they love it too and find it as charming as I do.
Then my daughter had to go and fall asleep on the comfy couch while watching tv.
I actually started heaving when I saw the rug. While she stood off on the side crying and apologizing, all I could say was "Oh no, my rug." Then I got busy cleaning. I won't bother with all the details, it was a messy job. While on my hands and knees scrubbing away, I kept muttering to myself, "Oh, this is gross," and "Isn't she old enough to make it to the bathroom?" "I wonder if Stanley Steemer is open now," and "Why me God?" a question those of us with kids should really learn to never ask. Anyway, she offered to help, and seeing as she was feeling much better, I took her up on it. We were up til past 6 cleaning, disinfecting, and saturating the room with 'French Tulip' room mist (which didn't help), when it hit me.
I'm a bad parent.
Here I am acting like the house did just burn down, all concerned about the stupid rug and the reeking of stink rather than tending to my daugher, who'd clearly eaten way too many nachos at the football game earlier.
After she apologized for like the 50th time, I said, "Oh honey, I'm the one who needs to apologize." Then we had ourselves a regular ol' mother/daughter bonding time, laughing, joking, scrubbing. Forget the nail spas, shopping sprees or salon appointments. There's really nothing like cleaning up puke together to bring a mother and daughter closer.
Seriously though, if that ever happens again, I'm getting a room at the Holiday Inn.
Do you have a favorite room in your home?

Thanks Ina- 2 Delicious Turkeys, 1 Memorable Night

2008-12-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else do their most prolific meaningful creative endeavors when they feel so full their intestines could explode from ingesting too much turkey and pumpkin pie?

Or is it just me?

Now I do, under normal circumstances, meaning when I'm not trying to write a 50,000 word novel(!!), love to cook and nothing better than a heavenly juicy succulent turkey and Thanksgiving feast. And I've cooked some yummies in the past. But this year I felt trepidation due to the stupid NaNo deadline (Thanksgiving came w-a-y late this year!!!). I almost hired a caterer. But, ever the trooper (and after hearing the price for a full meal for 15 people: "say what??!") I must say, I completely outdid myself this year, and I owe it all to the lovely Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten. For the culinary challenged out there, Ina is the host of her own show on the food network, where she whips up dishes in her sprawling Hamptons kitchen, and dumps pounds upon pounds of butter and heavy cream into mixes and says things like, "how bad can that be?"

Umm.....very bad, but delicious nonetheless.

With her recipes in my butter laden hands, that woman saved my ass this year. I followed the steps to a T. I seasoned that big bad bird with thyme, lemon, garlic, salt, pepper and onions. I roasted it for not a minute too soon. I hoped. I prayed. I waited. And the gods did not disappoint. It turned out absolutely dee-licious, maybe my best turkey yet.

And for that extra 'wow' factor I was hoping to elicit from my family and friends, I also cooked her other recommended side dishes from that episode: stuffing, Vegetable Tian, and thyme popovers. I mean, I made frigging popovers from scratch, which also miraculously turned out. Damn, that woman can cook!

Feeling utterly inspired by my own culinary prowess's I guess, if not a tad uncomfortably satiated, I sat down to write, and would have fallen asleep drooling at the keybpard due to the tryptophan factor coupled with extreme gluttony. But thanks to a dangerously strong pot of coffee, I managed to type out what would be the remaining bits of the Nano novel. I got as far as 33782 words. And, quite honestly, I think it could be my best work :)

So that's where the novel ended. That's all she wrote- literally. Just a few thousand words shy of the 50k but....what's a few thousand words between friends? Even better, like Ina says 'How bad can that be?'

Am I a little disappointed? A little. But the glass is half full right? I'm actually really proud of myself for writing even that much. It feels like an accomplishment no matter what. And in the words of the unforgettable Cole Porter, "they can't take that away from me."

I'll be back next year, NaNo folks.

So there you have it. Two turkeys that in the end, turned out quite good. At least one of them got thoroughly cooked.

And now with my NaNo days behind me, my family and I resume our regularly scheduled chaotic lives.

Hope yours was as splendid a holiday as mine!

Happy Thanksgiving (early)!!!!!!

2008-11-20T12:24:00.000-08:00

And the crap fest continues. Just joking. Well a little anyway. Nano novel is coming along. My good nano buddy MaryJo points out that crap is ok for now. Sounds good to me. I'm plugging away at the novel, things have taken some definite twists in the story but it's all good baby. With Thanksgiving just days away, I'm pushing to have as much done as I possibly can before the big day. Because the last thing I want hanging over my head on Thanksgiving day is feeling like an ingrate. I've much to be grateful for, and being that much closer to completion will only add to the happy day.
A note to all my adoring fans (cue in a symphony of laughter), I will be on short hiatus for the next few days pounding out words like a madwoman. Divinely Home however should have some lovely pictures to look at so stop on by, if you're into that sort of thing.
So enjoy yourselves, eats lots of pumpkin pie, and see you after the holiday!!
Gobble, gobble.

The Year was...

2008-11-18T18:55:00.000-08:00

...not going to say. I got this from Comedy Plus blog, and since I'm way behind on the Nano novel (did type another 1200 or so words today though) and could always take a mental break I thought I'd give it a try. Besides, my brains too fried to even attempt anything witty or cleverish at this point. Except to point out that its so completely unfair that Cindy Crawford was born in the same year as yours truly and she still looks like she's 25. Aw, hell, the year was 1966. Try it.

In 1966 (the year you were born)

Lyndon B. Johnson is president of the US

As part of nationwide protest against the Vietnam War, demonstrations are staged all over the US

In Miranda vs. Arizona, the Supreme Court rules that criminal suspects must be apprised of their rights before interrogation

US planes begin bombing of the Hanoi area of North Vietnam

Controversial American comedian Lenny Bruce is found dead of a drug overdose in his home

John Lennon says, "We are more popular than Jesus" sparking controversy in the US

The first black Senator is elected to the United States Senate

Cindy Crawford, Janet Jackson, Mike Tyson, Halle Berry, Adam Sandler, and Kiefer Sutherland are born

Baltimore Orioles win the World Series

Green Bay Packers win the NFL championship

Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is the top grossing film

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann is published

Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys and Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel are released

Star Trek and The Newlywed Game premiere

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

Cursed Be..

2008-11-14T09:55:00.000-08:00

.... the geniuses over there at NaNoWriMo.
'You can do it!' they offered.

'Why put if off any longer?" they taunted.

'You'll be glad you did!' they LIED!!!

Can you tell I'm feeling the angst and the pain of it all??!! This, I tell myself, is exactly why I didn't join my husband when he ran the Chicago Marathon back in '94. He said the same things, but I seemed to have more common sense back then. Senility setting in probably, maybe.

We're both runners, well he is anyway. I'm of the 'no pain much gain' variety. And he got this really crazy notion real runners get to run marathons and 'wouldn't it be cool if we both did it." Something about enriching our marriage, seeing the cool neighborhoods, a sense of accomplishment. My sole reply was "I'll be cheering for you all the way!!"

Marathon, shmarathon. Pfff...I'm no idiot. 5K? Sure, and I've ran several. 10K? Well, that's pushing it but doable. Ran one. Half marathon? Don't count on it. A whole freakin marathon? No way in freaking hell. I know my limits.

Yes, yes, I've given birth umpteen times, manage a motherload of daily to-do's, and should feel like the Invincible woman. With my puffy cape in tow I can 'whip up a delectabe meal of Hamburger Helper and tossed salad in a single bound, do 100 loads of laundry in one day! And still have enough energy at night to help the kids with fractions and decimals.' (don't do algebra though). We moms could kick Wonder Woman's ass any day!!

So this Nano thing. I thought, eh, what the heck. 50K words is a challenge for sure, but I love to write and don't really see hyperventilating, broken blisters and urges to pee with no bathroom in sight in the equation. The good kind of marathon, just lots and lots of writing.

What in tarnation was I thinking?? That I could ACTUALLY write 50,000 words??!!

I'm stuck and I mean good and stuck at 13500 or something words. It's like the thoughts just won't come. And now I'm forcing myself to write something, anything. It just feels so wrong (big dramatic scene here). I know there should be something deep, a metaphor here. I got nuthin.

Oh, who am I kidding. Like I said, I've given birth. And I will finish this confounded thing I started, even if I die in the process. Because if its one thing WonderWoman and I know how to do it's getting the freaking job done.

Think I'll go and write me a novel.

What challenges have you faced that required Wonder Woman like (or Superman) strength and determination?

Have a wonderful weekend!

Look No Further Than...

2008-11-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

your own kids words and phrases for inspiration. Unless you have a teen in the house, in which case words such as, 'lame', 'duh', and 'dude' will be used quite frequently. And I've done my share of using them. But my eight year old daughter expresses things with such uniqueness and creativity as, I suppose only an eight year old can. This summer driving into California we came upon some rather interesting but impressive looking mountains, and all I could muster was 'Interesting. Impressive.' Lindsay my daughter said, "They look so soft, like a blanket you could cuddle up with." And I swear I saw those mountains come alive when she said that. I looked back at her, and said "That's good. Would you mind if I used that for a story someday?" She said "Sure mom." Another time while driving on the freeway, we passed a loud truck and again, Lindsay remarked "That truck sounds like a barking dog." Maybe because I'm used to all that barking I'd never heard or thought to think of using that expression before. I wrote that one down too. I have lots. In fact the story that I wrote for Hip Mama, vol. 40, 'The Identity Issue' was based on something she said. Not only do her expressions take on a life of their own, like a breath of fresh air, they provide me with inspiration and a new lens to see through when it comes to writing. I think sometimes I filter things down so, that it tends to lose its 'zing.' So, it's great having an eight year old imagination around the house, comes in handy. Do you have any favorite expressions from your little darlings? Or if you don't have any, what are some of your favorites?

Wordstock, my POV

2008-11-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

This weekend marked the third annual Wordstock festival here in Portland. I had to miss Saturday's events as there were other more important things to do like take the kiddos to "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa", but I made it to Sunday's.

I was naively expecting that the entire Oregon Convention Center would be overtaken by the festival, but mostly it all took place in a far off corner of the building. The Convention center is a BIG building, I learned.

I accidentally got into the 'Annual Holiday Food and Gift' line and might have even gone, had not a sweet old lady handed me a $1.00 off coupon. I looked at her in her dazzling holiday embroidered sweater and realized one of us was in the wrong place. Two flights of stairs later I found the right place. At the entrance I was met with a kiosk with a sign overhead that read "Author Check In." I found myself salivating a little at that one. Someday, I thought to myself.

I noticed the crowds had thinned out by the time I got there, around 2pm. The only long lines weren't for the author signings but for the ATM machine and Starbucks. One can always count on those.

At $50 per, the only workshop I attended was titled "The Long Haul: The Art and Habit of Narrative Nonfiction." Do you remember in college going to class, and almost immediately realizing you were in the wrong class? Well, that's how I felt, but as in my college days, I felt too sheepish to get up and leave. Being of the 'sometimes things happen for a reason mentality', I tried to stay open to learning something. And I did, mostly that it is tedious and time consuming work. The journalism/investigative reporting type of writing has always been difficult for me. Probably why I only lasted a semester as a reporter for my college newspaper. Our teacher was Nancy Rommelmann, a gifted writer living in Portland, and clearly her passion is telling other people's stories. Not like thats not interesting to me. But I've got plenty of stories of my own to tell. And then there's the intense research, talking to those involved, compiling all the facts and weaving them into a compelling read. That's why we've got Joan Didion and Truman Capote! It's just not me. Frankly, the most useful thing I got out of that workshop was when she mentioned that since it can take a ridiculously long time to finish a project, she took on being a food writer/critic. Interesting. I've always been a foodie, I love cooking, and I like telling stories. Now this sounds this sounds right up my alley. Food is definitely a universal theme. And combining that with real human stories of say the farmers, grocers, or what have you, it definitely sounds like a market. I'm curious, has anyone done this type of writing before?

The next event I attended was a panel of first time authors. In spite of being surrounded by college looking boys on all sides- who really looked and smelled like they hadn't showered in days, and having been once a college coed myself, I sympathize-I enjoyed hearing these authors talk about thier journeys to publication. While two of the three never went on to publish their first novels, the act of writing them in the first place taught them tons about the novel writing process, and allowed them to 'shed some layers.' This was music to my NaNo ears, though I admit I entertain the possibility of someday publishing my NaNo novel. But the next novel they wrote did go on to publication. Except for the third guy. Selden Edwards. This is the same novel he wrote back in 1974! Talk about perseverance. Obviously, it went through several drafts before getting published, but after 33 years, it got published. His book is titled "The Little Book" and I may just have to get me a copy. Kudos to Selden!

Asked about the future of publishing, they are optimistic. And went on to say that a lot of the publicity, exposure, and marketing is resting more and more on the writers themselves. Blogs, websites, local and regional exposure...publishers expect this nowadays. No surprise there. And even in the age of the Kindle, the 'tactile' way of publishing isn't going away anytime soon. They remain optimistic.

All in all, I'm glad for the experience. I spoke with and heard from some very talented people in the industry. I visited many interesting booths manned by passionate and dedicated folks. I drove home thinking that all of these authors started out with nothing much but seeds of hope and diligence. And look where it got them.

Change I Do Believe In

2008-11-07T11:12:00.000-08:00

...in more ways than you know! My heartfelt congratulations to President-elect Obama! (is it ok to now write just President?) I'm coming out here and will say that I voted for him. I respect John McCain and his sacrifice and service to our country. But in the end it was Obama's visionary leadership that won my vote, easily. I also couldn't help but be moved to tears during his speech at Grant Park. I would've gladly paid a king's ransom to have been there. I found his speech subdued in tone, not at all this 'rah-rah, look at us' cheer. And I appreciated that. I think that reflects the man and his character. Clearly, he recognizes that that there is much work to be done, and that it may take some time to do it. My prayers are with him for his safety, and for the new administration as they work to restore our economy and the nation.
And onto NANO news: I broke 10,000 words! I know some of you may not be at all impressed with that and probably shaking your heads thinking 'newbie' and you know what I am. But to me its v-i-c-t-o-r-y! I've actually got chapters, note the plural. Plots with a few twists and turns (its mystery/suspense). And my theme seems to be consistent. Not like my high school love triangle story I wrote that contained multiple plots, no theme, and dialogues that included the word 'like' in every sentence: "Like, do you want to, like, go to homecoming with me?"
Now mind you, I haven't gone back and edited, but to be able to sustain the momentum, well pardon the phrase but that's just change I can believe in!!
Enjoy your weekends! :)

Today I Made His-tory (I hope)

2008-11-04T14:22:00.000-08:00

Today was far too important for me on so many levels to let other peripheral things get me down. Feelings of inadequacies as a writer, not winning a contest, the rain, even my son's adamant refusal to become potty trained- none of this could get me down today. I cast my vote earlier today, and the feelings that accompanied that as I dropped my envelope in the box, nearly brought me to tears. I've always voted before but admit it's been a bit difficult to comprehend how my one little vote could count. Still, out of duty and love of my freedom, I voted. But this time, for once maybe, my vote felt powerful and incredibly important. Like I am truly a part of something much bigger and grander than I can envision. It was quite overwhelming really. There was no way I wasn't going to vote. For one thing, as a woman, this right of mine is something I will never take for granted. For another, the implications of this historic campaign are too deafening to ignore and demand my voice. And lastly, I can't even imagine telling my children that on this, one if not the most crucial campaigns in forever, mommy didn't vote. Duh, mom. Well, now with my vote cast I won't have to worry about that. Now, I along with the rest of America and the world, will have to wait (anxiously) just a few hours more to know the results. But since I'm on the west coast, maybe not as long, she laughs.
In the meantime, it's novel time.
God Bless America.

NaNo Update

2008-11-03T10:14:00.001-08:00

While little man watches 'Choo Choo Soul' on the other monitor-yes, I have two monitors completely taking over my desk- I'm tapping my foot along while typing away at my 'novel' (tune's kinda catchy, k?) Considering the plot's half baked, I don't yet have a clear cut ending, and I keep typing the word 'trains' and 'ABC' in the same sentence, I think I'm doing well. While I'd rather hear John Coltrane for inspiration rather than 'Animals on the Farm', I'm charging full speed ahead. At least my cast of characters are colorful and interesting enough. I hope. I read Janet Evanovich's book "How I Write" in like, 3 hours. While she advises a plot with a fixed ending- which this writer is still grappling with- she also advocates interesting and memorable characters. I'm way ahead in that departlment. Luckily, with my imagination, plus after all those odd jobs and a lifetime of people watching (and eavesdropping), I've got several of those up my sleeve. I'm up to 1500 words, half if not all of which I'm sure will wind up getting cut anyway. Ah, well. At this point, I'm just shooting for a 'novel-ish' experience and accomplishment to this crazy thing. Wish me luck.

The Vacuum, Dr. Seuss, and Oprah

2008-10-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

I knew vacuuming was good for something other than making lots of noise:). I had an A-HA moment as I vacuumed my daughter's room earlier today. Oprah would be proud. Ready? Here it is: I've been a waiter, as in I've been waiting. It may not sound like much, but it sure felt like a whopper. I had to turn off the dang machine and soak that one in for awhile. Here's what the immortal Dr. Seuss has to say about waiting:

"The Waiting Place...for people who are just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come,

Or a plane to go or the mail to come,

Or the rain to go or the phone to ring,

Or the snow to snow,

Or waiting around for a Yes or No,

Or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting."

That's me. I've been waiting for a lot of things lately. Waiting for my house to look like the cover of "Home' magazine (will that ever happen?). Waiting for my kids to clean their rooms (teens really have this aversion to cleanliness). Waiting to lose those extra pounds (and with Thanksgiving around the corner). Waiting for the 'right' time to write a book. There's lots more but I'll stop there. Today, going about my mundane chore, revelation struck (cue in Hallelujah chorus) and I thought to myself, 'Hmmm....maybe now's a good time as any to write that book I've always talked about writing.' I read somewhere that the best cure to the 'waiting game' is to commit to what you want. I signed up for NaNo today. I'm scared by it a bit. Scared of the 'novel' turning out to be a piece of crap. Scared of neglecting all my domestic diva obligations. Scared of getting carpal tunnel from frenetic typing. Lord only knows what will become of it, but I'm just going to trust the process. As Deepak Chopra says, "Fortunately, the process builds trust." It's a catch 22 (great novel btw). It will be very interesting indeed to see what becomes of it all. Instead of waiting for something external for inspiration, I think I'll be my own inspiration.
So- you know I'm going to ask- what is it that you're waiting for?

To Nano or Not to NaNo

2008-10-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

That is indeed the question. Unlike that other BIG decision, I'm undecided about the nano thing. On the one hand, I do feel like there is a novel inside me just dying to come out. Not in the 'Alien' utterly disturbing horrific type of way, but I can't deny I have a passion for storytelling. On the other hand, I can barely remember my own or my kids many and varied appointments, let alone trying to churn out 50,000 words in 30 days! I have read that it is quantity not quality that counts, and the inner editor in me is right now chewing off that last bit of pencil, distressed at the very thought of not being able to self-edit. Honestly, I don't know that I'm capable of that much self control. I don't have much time left to decide, only six days or so. If anyone out there has signed up, I'd love to hear why you did? Conversely, if you considered it but didn't why not? Help a sister out here! Thanks.

Feeling a little silly Friday!

2008-10-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

OK, the people who created the whole spam and junk mail system should really get the congressioanl medal of honor or at least some kind of badge that acknowledges their true and I mean TRUE contribution to society and busy moms everywhere. Every now and then I check my junk folder to see if I missed something important like my kid's ortho appointment, or the bill to said appt, or perhaps a message from one of the many literary agents who've been desperately trying to track me down after reading one of my most brilliant posts (she laughs). Aside from the zillion MLM's begging me to join, there's always always something from the fine folks over at Viagra, touting its most joyous effects, and urging me to stock up now! How does that find its way to me??! For one thing I'm not a dude, thank you very much! I can't even begin to imagine what taking something like that would do to my already @#$* raging hormones! It could help...nah, too risky. And for another thing, the Mr. in this household is holding up just fine, and hopefully won't be needing that sort of, ahem, help anytime soon!! So, thank you thank you thank you, spam and junk mail people! I can't imagine my inbox completely inundated with all of those messages. You've made this busy mama's life a little easier. What small things in your day make your life a little easier? Share share! And enjoy your Friday!

The Secret (revised)

2008-10-23T10:57:00.000-07:00

I came across this the other day. Though you might find inspiration too.

"You must seek it long before you see it.
You must feel it long before you obtain it.
You must embrace it long before you cherish it.
You will appreciate the fullness thereof as you share it."

Enjoy!

There, I said It!

2008-10-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

'It' being calling myself a writer. Earlier today I was filling out one of those screening applications for this mom and kid play group I'm considering joining. Security's tighter than homeland security over there! It's done online and of course they have to screen all the potential candidates to make sure you're not a convicted felon or clinically insane and unstable. The unstable part is questionable though...Anyway, everything was coming along just fine when the eternal question came up: "What do you do for a living?" I hesitated. I paused. For awhile. I have had one paper published, which does make me in fact a published writer. I've published a few book reviews. I blog and hit the 'publish post' key. I'm continuously submitting pieces for consideration. And getting rejection letters. But honestly, that's not how I make my living. Thank God for Bob! And if I was working outside the home, I'd be a dental assistant. That's what I did before I decided to become a writer. A decent enough paying gig, a way to 'make a living', but not my life's work. I certainly didn't feel alive when I did it. I don't do that anymore. And Lord willing, won't again. I've found my true calling in writing. It feels so, well, 'write.' I love writing and reading words that penetrate the soul. Words that bring me to tears, or make me laugh so hard I blow my coffee out my nose, it doesn't matter. The point is I come alive behind the typepad, much like an actor in front of the camera. My spiritual mentor would call it 'being aligned with my Higher self.' I love that! It sounds so deep, ethereal, and inspiring. And it should be! It's not that I wouldn't go back to dental assisting if I really needed to. But I have the opportunity right now to write and pursue what I love. And perhaps if fortuitous enough, make some money eventually, but that's not the motivation. So I'm taking it. I'm 'leaping off the cliff and building my wings on the way down'! It may not pay for my living expenses at the moment (hence the beneficent Mr. Anderson :), but when I write and let her rip, it makes me feel alive. And that's what I do. Live. So I wrote down on that application, smiling rather proudly, 'I write for a living.'
Now, what about you. What do you 'do for a living'?

Celebrate life!

2008-10-19T22:07:00.001-07:00

While this week proved a bit more trying than I would have personally wished for, I emerge a grateful soul indeed. Not a bad start to the week ahead. My 16 yeear anniversary has already come and gone. Bob is sooo incredibly thoughtful. A thoughtful beautiful bouquet, a well written card, and a Diet pepsi! Love reigns!! True, not a sail on the Amalfi coast, but love reigns nonetheless! Las Vegas and the Sands is next!! Here's wishing all of you a blessed week ahead!! Go Life!!!!

Tribute to a boy I Never Knew

2008-10-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

A young boy in our community died earlier this week after a tragic 'freak' accident. We're a small town, and even though he didn't attend my own daughter's school, our hearts are grieving for his family. I was inspired to write this:
'You left this world way too early,' is what a lot of us back here are saying. '5th grade is barely enough time to explore life' is what we're thinking. And we cry. We adults tend to have deep thoughts at times. But something tells me that you however, aren't thinking the same. I imagine you think you had a very full life, for all of your 11 or so years. 11 years of trick or treating. 11 years of birthday presents and holidays with your family. 11 years of Tonka trucks, Legos, and playing in the mud (if you were anything like my son!). 11 years of joy, happiness, worry, and most importantly love that you brought to your parents and to others. Now, as you settle into your new 'digs' and oh, how beautiful they must be! I imagine you are feeling very welcomed, very loved, and very 'at home.' And while, we all down here are comforted that you are indeed in a better place than any of us can imagine, we cry still. We miss your face. We miss your presence. It's this flesh thing, see. Spritually we rejoice in your union with Heaven. But our flesh is very soft and often, especially at times like this, it hurts. Really badly. It hurts a lot.
You see, Austin, though I never knew you personally, I'm a mom myself. I know a little of what parents feel :). And I feel the pain any parent would feel if they lost their son in an accident. It's indescribeable really to pen into words. Makes me want to raise my fist at Heaven itself and scream at the top of my lungs "Why?" So, I turn to Heaven itself for comfort and understanding. Funny huh? Curse it one minute, then turn to it for help the next. And that help comes in the most amazing of ways. The smell of autumn rain. The birds singing in my yard. The sun peeking through dark clouds. A baby's laughter overheard in the store. My own son's soft wispy hair. That's when I realize that even among ashes, Heaven creates beauty. It is a hard time right now for us to fully accept, let alone comprehend why you're gone. So I will cling to what I know and believe to be true. You are safe now. Nothing can ever harm you again. You will be deeply missed by all who love you. I wish I would've known you somehow. But someday, I look forward to meeting you. In the Great Big Blue.

Another (brick in the) Writing Wall

2008-10-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

After reading the writer mama blog just now, I realize I'm sort of in between scenario 2 & 3. While driving my teen aged daughter all over town in search of the perfect Homecoming dance dress could most certainly be viewed as dramatic, it's really not unforeseen, certainly nothing I haven't already learned to deal with. As my friend Deanna says, meditate and medicate (she's a hoot, that one!). Life continues at our household, short story in progress or not! Can I get an amen?! Still, as a writer, always on the lookout for even a tiniest break in my day to type my next scene, I've managed to write up a very rough draft of a new story, based on a dream I had. It's exciting to see where it will lead. Now, after one day of churning out two whole pages, I've hit a little wall. O, it's not sooo big, but it feels like I'm just forcing it to happen now. Time to rejuvenate. Maybe read somebody else's story, maybe try a little exercise, maybe run over to Costco for some people watching and tonight's dinner! So, writer, how do you deal with things when you've hit that wall in your writing? Besides clearing my head, any other tips you could dish?

More on dreaming

2008-10-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

OK, so I am officially not crazy about that bizarre previous post, and my bizarre dream. I opened up my email earlier and there was a message from the Silva Method mind folks all about dreams! Coincidence? I don't think so!! "Solve problems with the power of your Dreams." Thank you Universe! Just the confirmation I needed. For those of you unfamiliar with Silva mind technology, basically its a way of using and tapping into your wonderful unconscious mind habitually and as a lifstyle. Jack Canfield, Chicken Soup for the Soul author is just one of many who endorse this. I personally love and am immediately interested in anything that has to do with the law of attraction and the unconscious mind. It's because I've seen it work in my life again and again. It's really not hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo. It's totally real and it works. I use the secret principles to write more creatively and just live more fully.
Anyway, I will be listening to find out more, and will post my thoughts here. Or if you'd like to listen yourselves here's the link. Let me know your thoughts. Go to www.silvamindsystems.com and follow the links to the dreams section.

Delta waves, bizare dreams and creating

2008-10-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

After a rather restless night of sleep, I'm up and finally ready to face the day. I only have a few minutes here before The Backyardigans is over and little man is grabbing my pants so I'll make it brief. While I did enter delta waves pattern sleep, or deep sleep, unfortunately I was in and out. I did have a doozy of a dream, makes me think I should write a story out of it. I have heard of many a successful author or musician who has had their inspiration from a bizarre dream (pretty sure Lewis Carrol did. I mean, have you SEEN Alice in Wonderland?!) Anyway, bizarre dreams aside, I have already reached for three cups of coffee this morning, washed my face in ridiculously cold water (may have ruptured a capillary), and as soon as I'm done here, or when little man starts running crazily, whichever comes first, I'll brave the light rain and head out the door to refreshen and liven myself up. Have there been any dreams-the nighttime kind- that have spurred you to write about? And did you? Or did you brush it off as 'silly fragments of the imagination'? It would be interesting to find out. Have a lovely day!

On Any Given Sunday

2008-10-12T16:02:00.000-07:00

Even though its Sunday, I'm challenging myself to write something. Luckily, between fixing a hearty breakfast for the family and throwing in a few loads of laundry, I've found a lull in my day. Sunday's are definitely good for lulls. But for the writer, lulls are a great time to jot down ideas, post some comments, or write a post. Nothing heavy or drawn out. I find that even just a little something can be enough to get my juices flowing. So here it is, just a little something; but at least now I'm ready, cause you never know when inspiration will strike!
What about you? What will you write today?

On a very sad note, Bears lost. :(

Is Damien my son?

2008-10-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

Remember him from "The Omen?" Well, he may have come back as my son. I know I've got the angels with me all the time but, honestly, I had no idea raising a boy would be well, hell. So different than raising girls! He has been dropped (my choice of words) now from his preschool! Pushing, shoving, crumbling up every bit of paper and other shenanigans! It's weird being on the side when its YOUR kid who's the bully!! No one's hung themselves yet or fallen mysteriously from balconies, but I worry.
Nearly everyone I knew who had boys told me it would be very different. How different could it be, I thought. After all, my girls were very busy active girls. But something about that male energy is throwing me for a loop! It's that he's so aggressive, he sees something he goes for it, no matter who or what is in the way! I'm taken aback by it somewhat. And its not like we taught him this. We're mostly decent and polite folks! (except for that cat sacrifice incident...joking!) I know from what his mom tells me, that Bob was quite the hellion when he was a kid. So it's his fault, I told him! But also, I think it's just in their nature. Boys are aggressive, am I right? Before I call a shrink for my boy (or perhaps a priest) will someone with boys tell me that it's just a phase or something, and that 'yes, this too shall pass?? Or at least recommend a good book on raising boys. The world may become a safer place if ya could. Or at least The Precious Angels preschool in Portland!

Did I Mention I LOVE October?!

2008-10-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

As I sat down to type my post today, there were a gazillion different things that crossed my mind. Last night's debate, the state of our economy, my daughter's upcoming Halloween costume (she's only 8 and she's being a Goth, oy..) but what I felt most inspired to write briefly about was loving the fall, especially October. Something about it simply stirs my heart. Apples. Pumpkins. The crisp air, the foliage, and here in Oregon, the gently pattering rain. I got married on a beautiful autumn day in October. Even U2 has a song called "October." Bob's birthday is also later on this month. For me it's getting back to the business of living. The Supreme Court returns to work, even the ant colonies are busy at work gathering food before the last leaf falls. Summer is great for slacking a bit, no schedules and for the most part, no worries. The kids are home, we go on vacation, etc. But in the fall, things come together. Order is restored. School is back. And the Holidays loom around the corner. It also means for me to get back to writing. After my hard drive crashed awhile back and I lost a lot of stuff, and after I had to drop my writing class with one of my favorite authors, I let msyelf get discouraged from writing again. But like the breath of fresh air that October is, I've again found my footing. I'm learning to take my cues from Nature herself. As the trees shed their leaves to protect themselves during the winter months, I too am shedding my old ineffective beliefs and habits about becoming a writer. Nonsense! I say to myself!! Nonsense indeed. So what if I lost my work? I can rewrite new, more exciting stuff!! I deleted my old blog to reflect my new attitude, and this new blog is only the beginning! As a part of nature that I am, that indeed we all are, I say let the changing commence!

More Brain News

2008-10-07T15:44:00.000-07:00

I simply couldn't wait until tomorrow to post this. The respected and brilliant physician Dr. Daniel Amen, has a great new book coming out. 'Magnificent Mind at Any Age' is all about taking care of that vital organ we all need!! In the newsletter that I subscribe to, www.amenclinics.com/newsletter, wrote about the teen brain, specifically how it's still under developed, and doesn't reach full maturation until about 25. Many parents of teens right now are nodding their heads in agreement, as Bob and I did earlier! He then went on to write that one of the best things we can do for our kids is to teach them to take care of their brains now, by avoiding toxic substances, getting enough sleep and eating right. Check out his website. Its chock full of information relating to brain news with really practical things to do to protect your brain. My eldest Olivia is 14, and I know what we'll be discussing tonight around our dinner table.

And they all came a tumbling down!

2008-10-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

The stocks, that is. Another c-r-r-r-azy day on Wall St. yesterday. As well as on Main St. I'm sure. I for one am appalled at what our wonderful law and policy makers have done. So many people are hurting financially right now. I read earlier about a jobless man in California who murdered his wife, three sons, mother in-law, then shot himself over this mess. Granted, there were probably other factors involved but this crisis seems to be the catalyst. And its a lot closer than I realized. As my family and I were driving along several weeks ago, something about a certain house caught my eye. I strained to see what had happened to this house that looked like a shell or a skeleton of what was once a stately home with a well manicured lawn and fantastic curb appeal. Then I read the small sign on the stoop. "Bank Owned." That's all I needed to read. Like Suze Orman said on Oprah recently, "the spending party is over." I do hope for all of our sakes, that those responsible will truly be held accountable, and that much change in the right direction will prevail.
As for the 'bailout' I'd like to see some tangible ways of a bailout for myself, say a mortgage free month or two or something similar. What do you think?

The First Day of Forever

2008-10-06T15:13:00.000-07:00

With my sixteen year anniversary just around the corner, I truly feel more in love with my husband than ever before. I find him more irresisitible than I ever have. I've always been deeply attracted to Bob. His greenish-grey eyes, thick eyebrows, full lips, 'chipmunk' cheeks and dimples captivated me from the beginning. But it wasn't solely physical. His winning attitude at life impressed. After surviving the suicide of his alcoholic father when he was only 11, a grieving yet distant mother, and a mostly dysfunctional family, Bob is the kindest, gentlest, most humble person I know. Oh, and his hands, those big strong rugged hands. When he hugged me or held my hand, I felt immediately safe. And when he held any one of our 4 kids in those hands, I know they felt the same. He'll be 43 later on this month. And yes, time has reared it's head. But something about the greying hairs around his hairline, the gentle curl of skin around those eyes, even his skin becoming a little more rugged has me spinning lately. His hands are a little more worn too. After all, 16 years of fixing appliances or doing yard work, changing diapers and being my handy man will do that to one's hands. But what captivates me still, is what captivated me in the first place. Love. An inner knowing that this is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Sixteen years and counting. So far, so good.
Happy Anniversary, honey.